Journey of a Good Heart

It's a New Year!!

2011-01-03T19:21:00.003+11:00

I really love New Years. It's without doubt my favourite time of year. Every year. I just can't get enough of the feelings of promise and hope for all that's to come in the following months and, the fact that each of us has a blank slate, I find universally empowering.

So do I feel empowered with the coming of this New Year? Yes, in a word! Life is never better than when you can open up a brand new diary (mine this year is a gorgeous candy pink colour, in A4 size for extra space and organisational importance) and know that all those days are yet to happen. I'm old enough to know I will waste days (in fact it's the 3rd today and I'm pretty sure I've "wasted" 2 out of the 3!), feel guilty about it, and try harder the next day/week/month to make each day count, but despite this, 2011 is still new and full of potential.

I have been meaning to write out a brand new set of (hopefully achievable) goals for myself and my family but of course life has got in the way yet again. I'm currently spending my spare moments either reading up on the discipline techniques of 1-2-3 Magic or reading a book on saving money. Both of these are very important for right now so I'll persist with that and get around to my goals as soon as I can without stressing too much because it's a brand New Year and I'm full of hope like that.

I'll leave you (or should I say 'myself'? Lol, I'll get around to sharing this blog with people at some point) with a photo of my beautiful babies with Santa. This was taken just a couple of weeks ago. The big one didn't mind, the little one did but we got the shot anyway.

Too long between posts!

2010-12-09T21:34:00.006+11:00

I have had a rough six months. Possibly the roughest in my whole 32 years. Maybe the roughest I will ever experience. Hopefully the roughest I will ever experience! I think I'm back here writing for that very reason...I know there have been some amazing things happen amidst the ugly mess things have appeared to be and I want (check that, NEED) to find some perspective. Somewhere to appreciate those amazing things and not dwell on the difficulties like I've been doing. As I type I have a nasty headache and a sore throat, I fear, from yelling for most of the afternoon at boys seemingly unable to hear. I would cry for the release if I was lucky enough to be unaware of the fact that my headache would blow off the charts should I indulge. In any case, those 'angels' of mine are finally quiet in their beds so I can have a few moments to myself before I stumble into mine, well before the time I usually do.

Back to the point...it's been difficult for me to appreciate the good things lately and too easy to dwell on the negatives. Don't get me wrong, the negatives have been significant. I know I'm not just being 'weak' or 'precious' to feel as if I'm drowning. There have been many life changes in such a short amount of time, as well as lots of niggling stressful aspects to all those changes. Let me just get it out there into the universe so I can let it go...Life. Is. Hard. Maybe if I just let myself say that every once in a while I can accept that I can be going through a rough time yet still be doing a good job. I'm sure that's one reason why I've been stuck down low in the stress-pit...because I've got myself convinved that I am doing something wrong, or even that I can't possibly do anything right, considering my bad run of dramas. I know instinctively though that life can just be difficult, and test us, even when we've done nothing to deserve such a hard time. I also know that sometimes the dark times really do turn out to be the best things to have happened to us, for reasons we can't yet fathom so, while I'm down for the count on the one hand, I'm also quietly hopeful that life has more in store for me than the defeat I'm feeling right now.

My body is screaming at me to head to bed so I'll just share one piece of news for tonight...one amazing 'thing' to have happened amidst the mess of life...

Well, I'm seemingly unable to insert my picture right here where I want it, and I'm struggling to stay up, so I'll just leave the beautiful image of my third baby at 20 weeks gestation (I'm currently 26 weeks...today actually!) at the top of the post, fittingly. Hopefully be back soon with more positives!

Celebrations!

2010-06-22T00:27:00.017+10:00

Life really does offer many opportunities to celebrate doesn't it? From international holidays to the milestones of our children...much joy! I think I've written before that my favourite celebrations are birthdays. I just love that every person gets a special day each year that's all about them! I'm not so naive as to think that birthdays are always happy days for everyone, but I love that, for the majority, people are thought about much more on 'their' special day, and I also love the unique traditions within families. We've discussed starting various traditions, such as special birthday BBQ breakfasts, but we haven't yet worked out the logistics of all our desired traditions. The traditions that have evolved without discussion or effort though, include:
~ Waking up to balloons
~ The birthday boy/girl choosing all their meals for the day and not having to lift a finger for so much as making a (real) coffee
~ Breakfast in bed if desired (I can't enjoy this pleasure myself for some reason, I always choose to be woken up with a lovely coffee and then eat at a table when I'm awake enough to enjoy it!)
~ Handmade cards (of course!)
~ Lots of hugs and kisses and best wishes for the day along with the giving of usually too many presents
~ The birthday boy/girl choosing how they want to spend the day and working everything else around this
~ Cake and coffee after dinner

We had a birthday in the family this week!

Remmy turned 32 on the 17th! We mostly followed our traditions except he had to go to work so didn't have a great deal of hours with us to be given all our attention. The boys and I spent the day blowing up the balloons that were left after his morning wake-up call, baking his cake (which had two layers of frosting inside so that little boys wouldn't eat the top of the cake only!), and making his card. He had a great day, receiving phone calls from all his family (and facebook messages from all of mine!), and it was his wish to watch some new birthday TVD's with me after the boys went to bed. We only had him home from 6:30-7:30am, and from about 7pm onwards, but he assures me he had a very special day. How could he not with sons as precious as these two?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMMY!! xoxo

There are many celebrations this month! One of Remmy's uncles turned 62 on the 5th, a good friend of mine turned 32 on the 6th, we had a 4th birthday party for some special triplet friends on the 13th, which was also my Dad's birthday (he would have been 61), a nephew turned 3 on the 16th, Remmy's 32nd on the 17th, my sister's 35th on the 20th, a niece turning 7 on the 24th, another niece turning 6 on the 25th (this is her and I with an early birthday present from us),

my cousin's son turns 8 on the 26th, we also have an early 21st birthday party for my eldest nephew on that day, and last, but not least, is Remmy and my 5th wedding anniversary (and 7th engagement anniversary!) on the 28th! What a busy month!

On Friday the boys and I packed up a mini picnic and headed off to the park! It's so fun watching them play together as they're growing. I must have taken 200 photos in a 2 hour window and I loved them all! It was a great reminder for me to just pick up that camera and snap away as often as possible. There are so many moments to capture.

I could stare at some photos of my boys for hours...they amaze me in so many ways. What special little people they are, I'm so lucky to be their Mummy!

Here's Gabriel just watching his big brother do things on the play equipment that he's just not yet big enough to try. I love that he's smiling...he has such a lovely spirit.

With a bit of help he got to experience the big slide for himself, with big brother watching in the background.

When it was time to go home the boys happily climbed into the pram (for possibly the last time together) to indulge in cola flavoured chup chups with the promise to come back to the park very soon.

Tired, happy, boys...joyful mum!

Tuesday 5...

2010-06-15T20:25:00.007+10:00

1. I had a lovely rest this morning while the boys watched a DVD. Sometimes they play so well together and I'm grateful this morning was one of those times!

2. I'm grateful for dinner not taking as much preparation as I thought. I've had the worst headache all day today and that was a nice surprise.

3. More beautiful weather!

4. Finally getting to the bottom of my folding pile. I always feel down when the house is in disarray.

5. I'm also grateful for my computer behaving itself today! It's not often I can get through an entire day without it freezing up on me and wasting my time but today was an exception. Small miracles!

Here are a few photos of the boys and I just being daggy at home a couple of weeks ago:

Monday 5...

2010-06-15T01:32:00.003+10:00

1. I'm grateful for being able to confide in my Mother. I am a very open person by nature but I'll admit that I do struggle with trusting most people with my true concerns. She was very understanding today and I really needed that.

2. Clarity. You know how some days go by and your mind is very foggy with lots of half-sorted ideas and opinions? Today was one of those other ones. I didn't sort everything out that I needed to but I did find that my mind was sharp. Clarity is like a closed window opening.

3. TVDs. This is my made-up word for DVDs of TV series'! I can't get enough of them really! I look forward to watching various series' at my own pace so much that it's rare for a day to pass and me not to have watched at least 2 episodes. I don't watch TV at all but I do remember how frustrating it was to see one of my favourite shows (taking much longer than necessary due to the ads) and then having to wait an entire week for the next installment. Gone are those days!

4. Losing weight. I started following a calorie counting application on my iPhone last week aimed at helping to lose 1kg per week. I only lost 400g that week but I was happy with that for a start. I haven't been doing much fitness this week (and I haven't eaten perfectly well either) but I'm still looking forward to seeing if I'll lose anything. It's exciting!

5. Goals. I'm grateful for goals because goals = hope for the future as well as a sense of satisfaction in the present. I last revised my 3 month/1yr/5yr goals a few months ago and am keen to update it again. I have a goal to revise my goals! I'm grateful also for the lessons I've learned with my previous goal-making attempts, especially the awareness that I let obstacles stop me in my tracks far too much. I must need to break my goals into even smaller tasks and I also need to ensure I take time each day to look over them.

Not a lot of specifics in my Monday 5 because it's so late! I'm actually barely hanging on tonight with a very painful headache. Goal #1 should definitely be to improve my sleeping habits!

xx

2010-06-13T22:58:00.012+10:00

I used to write in a gratitude journal daily. The idea behind this is that by forcing yourself to think of 5 things each day you're grateful for, you very quickly begin to see just how much joy really is in your life! If you're having a bad day, for instance, and the only things you can think of to be grateful for all relate to the fact that the day is over, that's ok. It becomes easier in time and the positivity you gain from appreciating all those small moments in your day also makes you realise that you have so much...you're a rich person, even when you may not have much money in the bank. It's such a valuable exercise that I've decided to post my daily 5 right here.

Sunday 5

1. We had a very social day today. The boys had a great time playing (and eating) at a birthday party this morning, my husband caught up with an old work colleague, and I enjoyed catching up with a few friends there too. After the party we did a bit of shopping and then visited another of my husband's old work colleagues and her family on their new property. When we got home we had my parents come over for a visit, along with one of my sisters, 2 nieces, and 2 nephews. I was really enjoying all the conversations and felt relaxed all day.

2. I'm grateful for my little family. I just realised that when I wrote on here in March 2009 I was separated from my husband. We separated in October 2008 and, after much communicating and soul-searching (from us both), we decided that we would do everything it took to be a family again. The boys and I welcomed him home mid 2009. I'm very proud of us.

3. Receiving compliments today on how lovely Jasper and Gabriel are also made me proud. I was told that I've done such a great job with them and I was able to say, "Thank you", and truly believe both that I have done a great job, and that the boys certainly are lovely. I would be here forever if I was to explain to you why they're lovely, so let me just say that they're often polite, considerate and interested in others, they're usually very happy, and they are always sweet. Today, for instance, as they were playing at the party, they would routinely give each other big hugs and say, "Awwww, Jasper", and "Awww, Gabriel", when they saw each other; Gabriel was so confident in asking children twice his age to chase him, and then he'd squeal in excitement as they were nearing; one of the other mums at the party came up to me and asked in amazement, "Did Jasper just ask to be excused from the table?!", after he had done just that; and both boys have been complimented for their spontaneous greetings many times this weekend. Need I go on? They are very special boys and I don't think I could possibly be more proud of them. Definitely something for which to be grateful.

4. The beautiful weather today! It was amazing to be able to enjoy spending time outside because it has been rather chilly for a few weeks now. I left my favourite, almost threadbare, Very, Very jacket at home and there were moments I felt hot! Lovely!

5. Long weekends. Tomorrow is a public holiday and I'm so thankful for that after such a busy weekend so far.

Yes, I feel better already for having done my Sunday 5! Here's hoping I'm able to keep up the habit.

Before I sign off for the night I'll share some photos of my beautiful boys. These are all from Gabriel's 2nd birthday last month. What a big boy he is getting...growing up so fast (in the proverbial sense only, I'm afraid he's inherited my physical size for sure!)! Here are a few facts about Gabriel at 2 years old:
* He's so clever with words. He started talking when he was so little (I'd have to go back through my box of the boys' significant dates to tell you just how little he was) and now speaks in full sentences all day long. He uses intonation perfectly too and is understood by others almost as well as he is by us.
* He still has 'red' hair. It's darkened since he was a baby and still has a band around the back of much blonder hair! He inherited his hair colour from his paternal great-grandmother.
* He loves frogs, cars, watching dvd's, playing games on my iphone, reading books, chasing and playing with everyone, having a bath, and cuddles!
* He's very physically strong and coordinated, I predict he will love sports when he's old enough to start.
* He's got a great sense of humour! He laughs so much, I mean really laughs...with his entire body. He's filled with joy!
* He's stubborn at times and, unless you can give him a better option, if he doesn't get his way, his cry will break your heart. He's passionate alright!
* He still uses a dummy (or 5). He has favourites and prefers to have at least 2 at all times. He rotates them around between his hands and his mouth and, when he's tired, he taps the dummy in his hand onto his cheeks.
* His favourite foods are chocolate, cake (but only the icing and/or sprinkles!), grapes, watermelon, peanut butter on toast, cheese sticks, fruit lollies (sultanas and other dried fruit), chicken, biscuits, rice crackers, yoghurt, and cooken frozen vegetables! He's never liked mashed potato, is currently anti-banana, and, while he can use cutlery flawlessly, he prefers not to. He's the messiest eater I've ever seen!
* He still has a nap in the daytime (usually from about 1pm - 3pm) and sleeps from around 8pm - 7am.
* Most of his clothes are size 2 but he can usually fit into size 1 long pants. He will not abide keeping socks on without shoes, even when it's cold.

This first photo was taken when he first woke up to balloons in his and Jasper's bedroom. Jasper usually sleeps for half an hour longer than Gabriel in the mornings and this day was no exception (even with all those screams of excitement)!

Gabriel woke Jasper up with a cuddle and out they ran to see a big pile of birthday presents. Your eyes are not deceiving you...that is Christmas wrapping paper you see! I didn't have any cute birthday wrapping paper and this Christmas paper was very thin, so perfect for Gabriel to rip with ease.

After openning all the wrapped pressies we brought out his new bike! We knew he'd be too little for a standard bike with training wheels so we got this glide-to-ride bike (you add the wheels when the child has mastered the art of balancing while pushing off with both feet at once). We were sure he'd be big enough to touch the ground but unfortunately he's not. Hopefully his little legs will grow fast so he can make better use of it soon.

Gabriel and Jasper all dressed up to meet some friends at a childrens playcentre in the nearest city. Gabriel got this chalkboard/whiteboard off Nanny and Poppy and I painted it white and sanded it back in parts to look shabby-chic. I've since seen some kind of bees wax you can rub over white paint to shabby-chic just about anything. I'll be giving that a go next time...sanding back when the wood is light in colour isn't the most effective technique! I'm happy with it though, as are the boys!

Here are some photos from the playcentre:

The frog cake I made the night before:

Big boy Jasper, wearing a party hat about to enjoy that yummy cake! I must go back and see how little he was when I last posted up a photo on here! I'm sure he's grown so much since then, he's a real 'little boy' now.

This has turned into a mammoth post so I'll leave it there. I'll be back tomorrow with my Monday 5!

Boo!!

2010-06-12T21:12:00.003+10:00

I'm shocked to learn that it's been over 14 months since I've posted on this poor blog of mine! Very disgraceful! I stopped writing because I'd planned to start a new, more professional, blog for my Stampin' Up! endeavours and the perfectionist in me wanted to start a brand new personal blog as well, rather than continue with this old 'hybrid'. Do you know what though? This old hybrid is part of my 'journey', and this 'journey' is something I want to remember. If I'm lucky I will become the person I hope to become (a kind, well-balanced, inspirational, happy and healthy wife/mother/daughter/friend/career woman...) but I need not forget the confused, unbalanced, very much imperfect lady I have been. Some of that may make more sense as I start to catch up with a year's worth of news, but it's a comforting thought for me that I, like my humble blog, still have the ability to evolve. Just like my blog sitting stagnant in blog-land, I've felt a real sense of life moving forward without me for quite some time. I have reassessed my personal and career goals so many times that even I'm unconvinced of what I'm truly wanting to achieve. I feel like I'm just stumbling around not really getting anywhere because there are too many places I want to go and the obstacles are insurmountable. As you will learn, I have come up against some very 'real' obstacles but I'm disappointed in myself for not finding ways around them...for just giving up entirely or, at best, justifying a change in direction when I'm only moving away from where I want to go. It's definitely time to re-focus. I need to remind myself of what's important, figure out how to nurture the important things while allowing room for growth and flexibility, make some new goals for myself, and start being consciously grateful for all the wonderful things about my life. I haven't been happy lately and I feel so very guilty about that when I know there are so many people (and so many things) deserving of my gratitude and appreciation. Shame on me. You can believe me when I say that I've beaten myself up enough about this though so I'll do my best to be more positive from this very moment. I certainly agree with the saying 'the biggest mistake in life is to do nothing when you can only do little'. Finding this blog and actually making time to post has been a significant baby step for me. Everyone can count on continual baby steps building momentum, so welcome back to the Journey of this Goedhart!

2009-03-02T00:14:00.021+11:00

Ok, I'm not going to tempt fate and try to upload any other pics tonight, I don't want to lose the lot should something happen with my unpredictable computer! I remembered after I posted my last message that I needed to add a link to the retired list of SU products...here it is!

http://www3.stampinup.com/au/documents/RetiredList_0309_AUNZ_Alph.pdf

I really need some instruction on how to change my links to appear in whatever form I wish...did that make sense? I mean to say that I've seen other people turn ordinary words into the actual link. ha ha ha I'm not very technical-minded, especially not at 2am!

This first pic is my Stampin' Up! desktop calendar. I used the Simply Scrappin' Crew Kids Boy kit...took all of about 5 minutes to place everything on there! So so easy with those stickers!

These three cards are examples of what everyone made at my demonstration yesterday. They got to choose which colour they wanted (of the 6 in-colours), which stamp image they wanted (from Priceless - one of the bushfire appeal stamp sets!) and which sentiment they wanted to coordinate the image with (from the level 1 Hostess set So Many Sayings). We heat embossed both image and sentiment and they all looked so professional when they were done!

I'm in love with fake grass on cards and scrapbooking lately! ha ha ha. I still love my Bugs and Kisses set! I'm getting a bit sentimental about it lately because it was the set I ordered specifically to inspire me with Jasper's 1st birthday party. I made invitations with this set, we had bug-inspired prizes in pass-the-parcel, and I made 2 caterpillar cakes. Just yesterday I ordered Gabriel's 1st birthday set...Ahoy, Matey, and Matey's Map...we're going to have a treasure hunt in the backyard, he can have a treasure chest cake filled with lollies (that I won't want him to eat!), and of course I'll make him invitations with this set. I know where I can buy some pirate accessories too, that would be fun to have both boys wear. I really want Jasper to have a good time on Gabriel's birthday so he knows that other peoples' birthdays are fun to celebrate and not just a day where Gabriel gets every scrap of attention. Of course there are aspects of siblings' birthdays that he will just have to get used to (the presents for instance...I'm not buying him presents just so he's not jealous!) but I love birthday's so want my boys to too!

This flower card was done in about 5 minutes too...I wanted to see just how easy it is to re-create cards in the catalogue. This is a quick attempt at the card on pg 15.

In one of our recent newsletters we were shown how to use the scallop punch to make a tree. I wanted to try it out straight away! I really like the effect!

This next one is using the exact folding technique as for the tree, placed as flowers instead of leaves. Nice effect!

Now here are quite a few pics of my decorated photo frames. These frames are just old ones from my young teens (they previously had cat pictures in them! ha ha). I painted the frames, created mounts the size I wanted, and then dressed them up because they looked a bit boring. I have all four in a straight line at regular intervals on my longest wall. It certainly adds a bit of colour! I alternated the four frames with two colour sets...two with Blue Bayou textured card stock and Purely Pomegranate flowers, and two with Soft Sky card stock and Pumpkin Pie flowers.

Just a close-up.

Here are my beautiful boys engrossed in a Playschool dvd! That particular dvd is my saviour when I wash the dishes! ha ha

Mr Gabriel growing very fast!

Mr Jasper not allowing me to take a photo of his actual face, as usual!

This pic really shows their love for each other don't you think? Often people comment on how much Gabriel loves Jasper but it really is two-sided! It's so gorgeous watching their relationship develop, I hope they stay close as they grow. :)

Ok, bedtime for me! I'll have to come back very soon with the rest of the cards I've made recently.

xxx

"Playtime!"

2009-03-01T10:14:00.004+11:00

Wow, I haven't been very attentive to this poor little blog of late! I haven't been too busy but I have been too tired to update. *Sigh* Life is good though, plodding along in the right direction.

I am pretty excited about the new Stampin' Up! Idea Book & Catalogue coming out in a month! I've had a teeny sneeky peek of some new colours, stamps, and accessories and can just imagine how many hours of enjoyment I am going to get from 'playing' with everything! I held my very first party/demonstration just yesterday (yes, I know...it took me long enough! ha ha) and I was, as always am, amazed at how much fun paper crafts can be! As adults we don't always give ourselves much time to 'play' but it really is a worthwhile hobby...not only are we using our imaginations (or, at the very least, our copying skills), we are sending out positive wishes to others (through the cards and tags we make), and preserving our life memories for future generations (through our scrapping). I can't think of any other forms of 'playing' that are as beneficial!

The list of stamps and accessories that are 'retiring' (and won't be appearing in the Idea Book & Catalogue 2009-2010) was issued today! This is great because we have a chance to purchase everything we may have wanted to buy but just put off. There are a few things I really want for my own personal scrapbooking mostly. Hmmm, is it irresponsible to make two orders in the one week?? ha ha ha Even though we still have a month, the products are only available while stocks last and I really don't want to miss out on any of my favourites. There are savings to be had too...25% off some and 50% off others! There are also six (of the ten) stamp sets whose sales support people touched by the Victorian bushfires. Stampin' Up! is generously donating half of the sales of these sets to the Red Cross for the Bushfire Appeal. I'll have to make sure I order some of these!

I'll be back later today with some new photos/scans to show you what I've been making of late, along with some pics of my precious boys.
xxx

Things will be ok

2008-12-17T13:19:00.003+11:00

It's been almost 3 months since my husband and I officially separated, almost 3 weeks since there's been no possibility of reconciling, and 3 days since I've found myself almost drowning in misery.

Today I took off my wedding ring. I haven't been wearing my engagement ring for a while because, with two little people requiring spontaneous cuddles, I found it was a hazard with those spikey claws. There is an indent on my finger where the ring has been and I'm looking at it wondering when it will disappear.

I have so many things I need to do but today I have just stopped. I've spent time with the boys and have found a new sense of 'everything will be ok' emerging. I know I will raise these boys well. They will of course be well looked after physically but emotionally is where I will really excel with them. Even now, before either of them can understand much of what is 'fair' or 'just', their behaviour has improved to the point of others noticing. Perhaps they understand on some level that there is less friction in their little worlds, or maybe it's just that they are thriving with the new comforting predictability. It's not that their days are boring or that we do the same things...just that my reactions - good and bad - are very consistant. I know they miss their Daddy though which is definitely contributing to my resolve to be a better parent and my awareness of many dark aspects of life. I know my eyes are wide open now and I'm no longer naive, if ever I was. When they are a little older I know they will find comfort in my absolute love of all things about them. They will understand, as others rarely have, that I am a very genuine person, that I value openness and honesty (but understand the need for their opposites to get along with others sometimes), that I will adore getting to know their individualities and do all I can to help them be comfortable withthem, and that I will always have time for them...no question. There are lots of things also which they will learn from me that I am yet to learn myself. I am constantly striving for balance in my world and the 'lighter' side of me (the side that holds all the positivity) is always growing.

So here we are. It feels like time to brush myself off and move forward. I've gained so much strength from some family members and friends (and specifically a group of extra special friends I met in an online parents' forum!) but I know I had a great deal in me all along. There is so much unpleasant-ness I have to attend to right now but, after the break of today, I'll take it in my stride knowing that I'm fighting for not only my happiness but also that of my boys. Things will be ok.

xxx

Cute Santa Card

2008-11-22T18:57:00.007+11:00

I haven't done much preparation for my intoduction to Stampin' Up! party in 2 weeks...I haven't even invited people yet! I have, however, decided that we're going to make this cute card I just designed and made. I always intended to have everyone make a card that was simple (it is an introduction afterall) and I think this card is simple and cute.

I had better start writing a guest list or I might be making this card by myself!

xxx

Winds of Change

2008-11-20T13:33:00.002+11:00

It's windy today...very windy. I am mellow because I have let myself down in an area of my life I really need to take control of. I won't beat myself up over it though, instead, I'll use this space for getting it out into the world so I can let it go...make new goals, clean a room, and do some crafts!

I'll be back soon in a better frame of mind, I'm sure.

Breaking the 'sugar' drought!

2008-11-18T00:04:00.008+11:00

I finally scrapbooked after a little over a year!

This page is of Remmy in Fiji the day before we got married. There's hidden journalling in the pocket bottom right that has a quote from Remmy describing how relaxed he felt but that he was very excited too. He does look relaxed here. Me? I was fairly relaxed but only because I didn't think about what we were about to do. ha ha. No really, I knew what we were getting ourselves into but I was always the more apprehensive of the two of us.

If you want to read about the gorgeous Stampin' Up! products I used (the LO is exclusively SU!) just head on over to the Cardinal Stampers blog (link in previous post).

What a slacker I have been to have left scrapping for that long. I'm only a slacker to myself though, I really love to scrap! I know I've been busy moving house, being pregnant and uncomfortable, and then having a baby and demanding toddler to contend with but it's so important to take the time to do those things that you enjoy...what's life without them? You could think about indulgent crafty type pursuits as 'sugar'...you crave it when you don't have enough, it gives you a 'high', and you can get it sensibly (natural sugars in fruit for instance...scrapping after all household chores are done for the day) or you can be a bit naughty and get your 'fix' in less wholesome ways (snacks with little nutritional value...stealing moments in the day while you really should be doing something else). Yes, I am very tired (as usual for my posts) so should really go to bed. All the household chores are done for the night now though, maybe I'll go and get some sugar...guilt-free!

Cardinal Stampers

2008-11-12T02:11:00.006+11:00

In my sleepy state I forgot why I came on tonight...to post up a link to Stampin' Up! group blog Cardinal Stampers! http://cardinalstampers.blogspot.com/ We post up challenges for each other and encourage anyone to join in.

Here's a couple of my latest cards. If you want to know which products I've used just head on over to cardinal stampers and find the 'recipe'. If you have any questions or wish to order some products don't hesitate to leave a comment.

Challenge #1 - watercolouring

Challenge #2 - inspiration from a catalogue page

Challenge #3 - make a girly card

I've issued a scrapbooking challenge for #4.

xxx

New Goals

2008-11-12T01:47:00.006+11:00

I've been feeling really positive lately about achieving my goal of living a more balanced life. I've had so many ups and downs in the past few years that it's such a relief to be content amidst what is still a crazy period in time. Here's a little list of some things I'm looking forward to (in no order of importance):

~ I've wanted to go to England since my uni days and my mother and I made a pact last week that we would go together and start saving straight away! I haven't been on a holiday since my honeymoon 3 years ago so, while this trip may not be for another 2 years (finances willing), I'm so excited! We will open a bank account specifically for our savings and she will just match whatever I can afford each week.

~ I'm finally going to start putting some regular time into my Stampin' Up! demonstratorship and my first party will be very soon. I was going to schedule it for Sat 29th Nov but one of my sisters (the crafty one no less) is away then so it may be the following Saturday. I have so much to do beforehand but it's all exciting stuff.

~ I'm going to start a new fitness plan. There are plenty of things I could start with that we already own (cross-trainer, fitness dvds, pilates, walking...) but I am going to bite the bullet and buy a piece of equipment that I have had my eye on for about 8 years. You would just laugh at me if I told you what it is (there's a famous infomercial you would have seen) so I'll wait until I have it to reveal! Very funny!

~ I am going to see if I can get some fun casual work for Saturday's. We could always use the money but I would mostly be doing it for a bit of balance and time out of the house feeling worthwhile. I don't think I would hire someone just for a Saturday (and that's all I could really offer) but I will put it out there because you never know.

~ I still plan on doing post-grad study at uni. I won't be doing this in 2009 but I'm aiming for 2010, all very achievable with the boys a little older.

~ I've pulled Jasper from the childcare he was attending (for too many reasons. Basically though, I was missing him and I wasn't confident in the care or communication between them and I). I really wanted it to work out so he could learn to socialise and just get used to other people but I will take him to the local playgroup and music classes for toddlers. There's also a library morning for toddlers apparently, which I would love to attend, but it's the same day we go shopping with my mother and he benefits from that time with Nanny too.

Ok, I'm fading fast and need to put the bins out for collection and jump in bed before my baby boy wakes up! Here are a few photos taken last week

Summer mini!

2008-11-05T00:28:00.004+11:00

No, I'm not talking about my upcoming wardrobe (although let's hope I will be 'mini' soon!)...I'm talking about the new Summer mini catalogue for Stampin' Up!, and the fact that I preordered some products today in anticipation of the introduction party I'm planning. Yay! It's always so exciting to get a new mini! So what was my favourite thing in the catty? It would have to be Flower Fusion -- beautiful felt flowers in the most gorgeous colours! There are lots of gorgeous Patterned Papers too though. Oooh, and rub-ons, and stamp sets of course....even an extra wide double stitched ribbon I couldn't resist. I was quite restrained really...really! If you don't know what in the world I am talking about check out the annual catalogue here (and I'll post up a link to this mini cat as soon as it's available on the SU! site):

http://catalogs.shoplocal.com/stampinup/index.aspx?pagename=shopmain&fsid=273903e9-7279-44ee-8791-fef7cb8c3be9&storeid=1039381&circularid=12781

Here is a picture of Jasper playing in the backyard about a week ago. Do you think I need to invest in a bigger pool for him?!

Hypochondriac...? Me...? Never!

2008-11-03T00:22:00.011+11:00

Nausea...Headaches...Bloating...Weight gain...Vomiting...Lethargy...

These are the top six symptoms of a drug I was prescribed. More than just being symptoms, these are those symptoms listed under the 'go back to your doctor if...' title on the included leaflet.

The doctor told me yesterday morning that I am allergic to this drug and to cease usage immediately. I had persevered with that horrible nausea (especially) for 11 days before it had progressed to actual vomiting! I was silly to do so but I have an awkward fear of not being taken seriously at the doctor's so would tend to avoid rather than be made to feel silly for wasting his time, as has so often happened in the past. I am slowly learning to be more assertive in the face of such perceived disdain...one of life's many lessons for me.

The significance of these symptoms (apart from the fact that my Saturday was spent sprawled out on the couch with Jasper jumping all over my face while I slowly sipped electrolyte-replacement drinks and avoided food lest it increase the nausea) is that I've been concerned very recently with feeling tired enough to question my iron levels and feeling quite depressed about my poor, unexercised-of-late body. I believe I even questioned where in the world could I get some energy to start a new fitness program. It's quite amazing how stereotypically bad my body reacted to this drug...couldn't have been more clearly allergic!

I am happy to say that already, just one day on, my belly is at least half the size and I'm no longer too tired to move come 7pm. In fact I barely sat down today and I'm still awake and writing on here at almost 1am (ok I didn't say I was clever, just more energetic!). The extra energy has excited me today...endless possibilities etc etc. The issue of why I was taking the drug in the first place still exists but with a new positive attitude and a little extra energy I say, "Pfft" to that!

Here are some more photos of Gabriel...also taken on a day when Jasper was at childcare. I vow to get the camera out very soon to snap my eldest beautiful boy! (not that I haven't taken any of him, I just haven't taken any decent ones, he's far too busy at the moment!) I just can't narrow down this sequence into 2 or 3 pictures so will upload many (thank goodness for autosaving...just saved me having to repeat myself oh so close to the final photo!). It IS very late. I'll go to bed now. ha ha

Thoughts, Shmoughts

2008-11-03T00:11:00.008+11:00

I almost feel as if I have too much to say tonight yet no ability to distinguish between noteworthy thoughts and rubbish! I might just show off my new pram (yes, you can't miss me strolling down the street now!!)...and my gorgeous son, of course...

We had just dropped Jasper off for his second day of childcare. Will I ever get used to him not being around for those 6 or 7 hours twice each week?

October 15, 2008

2008-10-30T22:27:00.013+11:00

Another big event I missed mentioning in my previous post was that one of my sisters moved back here with her son! It's been great having her around, I can hardly believe that all of my biological sisters are living in the same place! Our poor mother is stretched to the limits with spending time with us all and helping with babysitting etc and there are sometimes words spoken on the stress she is under to be 'fair' to us all. She however, taught us the meaning of the word (if she bought something for one of us, for instance, she always got it for everyone and made sure we understood how 'fair' she was!), so it's possibly to be expected that we pull her up sometimes. Expected? Maybe. 'Fair'? Probably not! Sometimes I wonder if she'd be happy if we all left her alone though. Even when I just invite her over for a cup of coffee she spends a great portion of the time just interacting with Jasper and Gabriel and ignoring me. ha ha.

This particular day, October 15, she was babysitting my two babies while the recently local sister, her son, and I drove to the nearest city for some shopping and my nail appointment. She took these photos of my boys (yes, let it be known that I, Chenoa Goedhart, did not dress my baby boy in that outfit! The outfit may not be the problem so much as the rise of the pants! ha ha) so thought I would share. Cute sequence despite the grubby face on Jasper and the wardrobe on Gabriel!

When we got home these pics of Gabriel and his cousins were taken, along with the one of him and I. I had to crop out my oily looking hair a little bit...I guess I can't get away with that many days between washes!

xxx

Life happens

2008-10-30T12:53:00.020+11:00

It's been over 2 months since I've been on here and so much has happened! I don't want to dwell on the negatives (of which there were a few!) when there are so many positives.

The biggest event during this time was definitely my big boy turning 2 on September 22. We had a little party for him with family and his two best friends and it was really fun. I'd read somewhere (probably on essential baby) that parties are easy to manage if your child invites just as many friends as the age they're turning and this was so much better than his first birthday party where he kind of blended in with the walls!

Since his birthday he has grown up so much! He's communicating so well now and getting along much better with his little brother. He's still so rough at times but that will surely pass with time. After much thought I did what I thought I'd never do and enrolled him in childcare for two days a week! The social and mental benefits for him (and the one-on-one time this gives me with Gabriel) are hard to overlook but the downside is that, for the first time, he's having experiences that I'll only know about if he chooses to share. It was unnerving when he came home from his first day and played peek-a-boo with me because we haven't played that for ages...it was very obvious he'd been doing it that day and I could only wonder...what else? I miss him when he's not here. Thankfully there is so much I try and cram into those days (perhaps so I can justify sending him!) that they pass very quickly.

So what's Gabriel been up to? The biggest advancement with my baby boy is that he's started eating solids! I really enjoy this stage as I love making all the purees and carefully choosing which food to introduce next. So far he's had plain farex, flavoured farex, bananas through a sieve, steamed pureed apples (which didn't agree with him at all!), mashed potato (which he just hated), steamed pureed butternut pumpkin, and farex mixed with the fruit and veg.

He is now rolling and kind of crawling even! He can move great distances but it's with a sliding action that looks so tiring! He's doing well for a baby who isn't left on the floor for too long at a time lest his big brother jump on him!

As for me...I've surely had ups and downs but I'm getting through it all and my boys still put a smile on my face everytime I see them so I can't complain too much. I was going to post a picture of my haircut wasn't I? Well are two taken the day after it was cut.

Next time I'll get it shorter I think, so I don't have such a difference in the length of the layers...a 'choppy' bob would suit my personality better than such an 'in-between' length does. I love the femininity that longer hair gives but I have an awful shaped head and my thick locks are dragged down emphasising that. ha ha. I am feeling pretty depressed about my body lately too. I really really need and want to start a new fitness program for myself but where do I find that elusive energy that's required?? Perhaps I'll go to the doctor and see if I'm low in some essential vitamin or mineral before I beat myself up. Just yesterday I was thinking about all this extra weight I'm carrying and why it bothers me and not the next person. I came to the conclusion that I must just be more self-conscious than others, and I thrive on feeling confident. Yes, this weight has to go! Watch this space!

Another new goal for me is to host an introduction Stampin' Up! party in my home sometime in November. I just adore all the products and I think I will love doing demonstrations (based on how much I loved selling when I was a retail manager). It's too big a shame to get nowhere with this little business venture just because I have difficulty carving out some regular time. I'm sure that time exists in my days or weeks somewhere...for the sake of balance in my life I will find it.

xxx

'Long time coming'?????

2008-08-17T22:24:00.003+10:00

The title of my post this morning, 'Long time coming', relates to a topic I didn't end up mentioning so I thought I had best pop back on!

So what am I talking about?? (a) A haircut, (b) a nail appointment, (c) shopping for clothes, (d) all of the above. The answer is (d) thanks to my sweet husband! All this is happening on Friday and, while I don't think we can at all afford it, he is insisting that I go ahead with the appointments he made (how much sweeter is it that he made them?!) because "we can't afford not to". I think he meant that I have been a bit depressed about my appearance lately so if we don't do something about it the mood around the house won't be the best! Having my nails attended to is such a luxury (even if I do get them done every 2-4 weeks anyway), shopping for clothes is so much fun, despite being a little scary (after having a baby and still being insecure about all the 'excess' things going on), but getting a haircut...my goodness, this is a long time coming for sure! I haven't had anything done to my hair since I was 6 weeks pregnant with Gabriel! I used to get a cut every 6-8 weeks and a colour every second appointment made. The last appointment I had saw my hair take on an orange tinge (which required 3 fix-up appointments!) and my hairdresser and I were in aggreement that I should not colour while pregnant...nothing was said about getting it cut (obviously!) but I've just been trying to avoid spending the money when the colour growing out wouldn't be making me feel like a classy lady anyway. ha ha. I will have to pop on with an 'after' shot over the weekend!

Long time coming

2008-08-17T10:46:00.007+10:00

I've been avoiding posting in here lately because Remmy and I have been meaning to buy me some web space to have a professional Stampin' Up! site/personal blog and I'm not sure if all my posts here can be transferred to a new site (yes, I'm not very internet savvy!).

Not much is new here. Gabriel is doing so well now off the medicine he was on for reflux and colic! He's been sleeping through the night for a while now too. The issue at hand for him is the transition from bassinet to cot. We were going to do it this weekend but I am stalling. If we choose to have no more children it's so sad to be done with this beautiful bassinet (the epitomy of 'baby'). ha ha. Remmy is thinking one or two more bubs are definitely on the cards but I'm not so sure...maybe though!

As for our big boy Jasper, the issue at hand is defintiely starting time-out for screaming. He's responding so well to getting a warning and then time out (we're following the supernanny techniques) only I'm wondering what happens now it seems as though he knows he can scream once and get the warning (with the desired attention). We're trying so hard to get him to call out for either Mum or Dad instead of just screaming but he seems to speak in such a little mouse voice we don't hear until he screams!

Here are some recent photos, I have to run, Gabriel's just woken for a feed.

Nothing to say...nobody to say it to

2008-08-04T12:17:00.003+10:00

I haven't written in here for a while because I've been so negative lately. I don't quite know what's wrong but I have a good day then 3 awful ones, then 2 good ones, one bad one...etc.

The good days are fantastic! It's usually the boys and I getting along with things happily. We might get out of the house and go for a nice walk or just stay home and still have fun. The bad days, like today, are so depressing! I wrote a list earlier of all the things I feel are going wrong but I won't bore you with the details. Suffice to say that I'm not in a comfortable place and it seems I have little support from friends and family at the moment (which I've no right to complain about as I hardly have time for them myself). Dark times for sure!

No doubt I will pull myself out of this funk but oh how lonely life is when you have abundant needs and nothing to give in return.

Happy Days!

2008-07-18T20:30:00.004+10:00

I had another good day today. Jasper, Gabriel and I have been enjoying going on walks and today was no different. We were gone for most of the afternoon (as we visited 2 family members' houses) but about 2 hours of that was us walking along. I must be getting fitter because I may have slowed down but I certainly wasn't tired even at the end! The pics are from our walk yesterday. We've had some lovely days!

Oooh, I can hear Gabriel waking up for a feed so best go. Just wanted to say that he slept through last night...one feed at 8:30pm and the next at 6:30am! Now I just need to add a feed somewhere (as he was already only having 5). He's woken a little early so it might not be too difficult.

Settling into the family

2008-07-17T09:47:00.010+10:00

I think it's finally safe to say that Gabriel has settled in! He still has his reflux/colic issues but we're all now unsurprised by anything that goes on. ha ha. Using 'unsurprised' as a barometer of how settled we are obviously isn't the optimal situation but I'll take it. I'm having some brilliant days and some not so great, as is understandable. Yesterday was absolutely terrible but the day before was a dream! We were all dressed and out the door at 11:30am going for a walk. We got back and Jasper and I ate some lunch, then Gabriel had lunch, then Jasper went to bed and I started on dinner (in the slow cooker). Gabriel then went to bed as Jasper woke up so we baked some patty cakes and played while Gabriel slept for an amazing 2 hours! It was also the first day we ensured Jasper ate and drank at the dining table ony (apart from water which is always available to him). We were just finding that food was all through the lounge room and even in his bed as he wandered around snacking all day. The new routine went surprisingly well and the day actually had some structure! Don't know what went on yesterday though, it was a mess of a day where I had to fight Jasper for every little thing. I have heard though that when starting a new routine a toddler will usually resist before they learn to enjoy the structure. We will persevere.

How did we fare on our walk you might be wondering? Actually quite well thanks to my sisters M and K who pitched in and got us an ergo organic carrier for Gabriel! Here's a pic of me wearing him the day we got it (why am I always in my pj's for such shots??), and then a pic of him sleeping soundly on the infant insert after being in it. He seems to really like it. It's a little big for me (not as secure on the shoulders despite being on the tightest setting there) but otherwise it's brilliant! Will serve us well for at least a few more years!

Well I had best be off as Jasper is re-arranging the furniture and Gabriel is bound to wake any moment. When he does we are off on another walk!

Here's hoping!

2008-06-21T22:51:00.003+10:00

Just wanted to come in here and say, to nobody in particular, that I have had absolutely the worst day! Between a cold that's just gone from bad to worse (or, from bad to sinisitis, to be more exact), a toddler who won't stop screaming (he has a cold too and is going through some behavioural funk as well), a newborn who needs constant holding, and a husband who is sleep deprived, I could very well have lost it! I actually have been awake since 3:45am so it wouldn't do me harm to try and get some sleep. Maybe Remmy will take pity on me and hold Gabriel if he wakes up!

Here's hoping tomorrow is better.

Happy 30th Birthday Remmy!

2008-06-21T07:24:00.009+10:00

Remmy had his 30th birthday on Tuesday and thankfully was able to have some time off (he was forced to work at least until 2pm everyday since Gabriel was born with the promise of this time off now)!

We thought long and hard about how to celebrate and we decided to get a new fridge for each other for both our birthday's (as my 30th is next month), we gave each other a chunk of money to use as we see fit (Remmy bought some hand tools and other odds and ends for his toolbox), I got him a surprise pressie from the boys, we've arranged for him to go on a training flight in a glider this weekend (I have to call today and make sure the weather is going to be ok to go up tomorrow), we went out to lunch (just the four of us), and we had a mini-party after dinner with all my local family. I made him wear a badge saying 'birthday boy' and we had balloons and cake. I think he really enjoyed his day, despite initial disappointment that his dad couldn't make it over from WA as he had thought might be the case. We spent his 29th birthday in Melbourne visiting his dad and his brother's family. Sometimes I think he really misses not having 'his' family around, as would anyone surrounded by in-laws, I'd imagine!

Here are some b'day snaps:

Welcome Gabriel!

2008-06-21T06:46:00.012+10:00

I'm sitting here early in the morning because I have the snuffles (so can't breathe through my nose) as well as a few sensitive teeth (so can't breathe through my mouth)...this combination does not make for restful sleep!

I can hardly believe that I've been awol for over a month! I have a good excuse though...I had my beautiful baby boy in the wee hours of May 15.

WELCOME GABRIEL CHARLES ARCHER GOEDHART!!!!

Here's a link to my birth story:

http://members.essentialbaby.com.au/index.php?showtopic=543047

I didn't have the easiest of deliveries and Gabriel has since been diagnosed with silent reflux, so we're not having the easiest time now either. I couldn't be happier with my newest little boy though so am keeping good spirits despite the stress. I say 'stress' because it seems as though the medication he is on is working, then it's not, then we figure out something else that works, then that doesn't...and so on! It's ok, if our experience with Jasper has taught us anything it's that as soon as you're comfortable with the routine (or, at the very least, as soon as the routine is predictable), it changes! ha ha. I am just bursting with love for my little boys! Here are some pics taken on June 16th:

We've vowed to take monthly pics of Gabriel (as we did with Jasper) at least until he's 1yr. This first month caught us off-guard a little and we were a day late. From memory though I'm pretty sure this happened with Jasper's monthly pics too, just for the first month! Speaking of Jasper, here a couple of pics of him playing in the backyard the other day...what a nature-lover we have on our hands!

Here are a couple of pics taken just yesterday:

Note how chubby he is getting already! My messy hair in the second pic has become my signature 'do' since Gabriel's birth...I'm considering getting it seriously cut the next time I get around to arranging a hair appointment (the last one must have been 6 months ago!!)! There's been so many beautiful pics of the boys taken in the month I've missed I'm going to have to try and include some each time I post!

Well I am quite tired now (not that I wasn't when I turned the computer on!) and Remmy and Jasper should be waking up soon. Jasper has a swimming lesson this morning (as is usual for a Saturday) but I'm not sure I want him to go because he's not been well. I'll see how he is when he wakes.

Mother's Day 2008

2008-05-11T19:33:00.009+10:00

Today I was lucky enough to get a sleep in of one hour (my choice...if I sleep for too long in the mornings I feel like I've wasted my entire day!), a dvd off Jasper, some lovely chats with my husband, beautiful kisses with my son, and an afternoon of laughter with 2 of my sisters and my mother. I made a caramel mud cake for us to have with our tea/coffee and, as usual for me, it turned out yummy but unattactive! I covered the whole thing with little candy hearts though so it wasn't very obvious that it had bits fallen off (well, Mandy did mention that her piece had a 'bit' hanging off it which was hard "like a cancer"! I just laughed and didn't mention the fact that I knew it was dodgy). ha ha

Here are the cards I made for mother's day this year (one for my mum, one for Remmy's mum, one for Remmy's step-mum, and one for my Stampin' Up! demonstration album):

Just because I haven't been in much lately...here is our new bath/change table! It's fabulous! We originally wanted it because we couldn't decide which boy's room to put the change table station in (thinking that one of them would always be sleeping when the other needed changing) and this table goes in the bathroom -- including a bath that takes up to 100kg! -- but, upon working out that the bathroom has 2 levels of heat lights and we'll have a very small bub in Winter, we were sold! It took a while to get here un-damaged but worth the wait.

This was Jasper's first bath in there, he had lots of fun!

Finally, here is my 38 week belly pic. I've been told that I've 'dropped' and I'd have to agree! Come on bub, my hospital bag is in the car ready to go, you can come out now! ha ha

Belly preservation

2008-05-05T21:14:00.008+10:00

On September 7th 2006 this is what Remmy and I were doing:

On May 3rd 2008 (the Saturday just gone) we were doing it again:

These belly casts are from kits called birthing bellies...

http://www.birthingbellies.com.au/belly_what.php

...they're designed to preserve the shape and size of your pregnant belly! I am so proud that we were prepared enough to cast my belly at exactly the same gestation both times (37wks + 2days), it makes for awesome comparisons!

When we'd finished my cast on Saturday we were both shocked to see how much narrower I am this time around! We went on an ice-cream binge even, thinking that I'd done such a good job of keeping my weight down. I thought about taking some piccies of the two casts on the dining table before bed but, in the end, just waited until the morning. Turns out I was only as wide as I was in the cast of my Jasper-bump because of the weight of the plaster while it dried! I was most disappointed to see that my current bump was almost exactly the same as my Jasper-bump come morning. I think I'm definitely sticking out in front more this time though...could be because I'm less toned! ha ha Here's some comparison piccies...in the last two pics the new cast is the one drying on the green towels.

37 weeks!

2008-05-05T19:54:00.007+10:00

These pics were taken last Thursday (I've just been slack with getting them on here). It hardly seems real that we'll have another baby very soon! You'll be pleased to know that I started packing for hospital yesterday though (finally!)...the fact that I still have things to buy doesn't matter, at least I've started! It's heaps easier to pack for the hospital having already been there once before. I know, for instance, to pack a special rug/cover to put over the plastic tub thing at night to shield bub's eyes from the light; I know to pack no more than 6 of any given type of garment; I know that it's useless to dress bub up everyday as he'll mostly be wrapped up; and I know that, should anything change or be different at all, I can always rely on Remmy to bring me more things! Last time he even brought me in my bedside lamp! ha ha. So yeah, much less stressed this time around but there is the added issue of not knowing this time around if I'll be able to try for a VBAC or if I'll be having a scheduled c-section. If I am to try for a VBAC I need to pack a small overnighter bag with labour-type things in it (as I don't think they will appreciate a suitcase, however small, in the delivery rooms!) but if I have a c-section there is much that I won't need to pack at all! Nevermind, I will pack for a VBAC and, if I need to schedule a c-section closer to the date, I should have time to re-pack...problem solved!

Here are some cute piccies of Jasper talking to himself in the mirror while I was taking those belly shots! He does this everytime he sees his reflection now...rather funny, slightly disturbing! ha ha

Today Jasper was quite clingly and affectionate with me. I really enjoyed his extra attentions, he's such a great kid!

My little dreamer!

2008-04-28T15:01:00.007+10:00

I am just laughing so hard right now!

We've had Jasper's mattress/big bed on his bedroom floor for a little while now so I decided that today was the big day...today we would start the transition (at least for his lunch-time nap anyway, tonight he will go in his cot).

He usually takes about an hour of playing quietly in his cot before falling asleep so, after putting him in his room around 1pm I wasn't shocked at all to still be hearing little noises at 2pm. I tackled a few jobs around the house (contacting the manufacturers of the damaged change table/bath thing, did our internet banking, and put a load of washing in the dryer) and then went in to check up on him.

Ok, before I show you what I found I'll say that we usually have a door jam device on the top of his bedroom door so he can't shut it (and therefore can't slam his little fingers!). For this momentous occaision I took the door jam off and put a safety device on the inside knob so the door would stay shut...Jasper can't open doors with these things on the knob. This is probably only significant in that, in order to check up on him in there, I needed to open the door.

Here's what I found...

I said, "Hi sweety!" thinking he was just staring out the window or something. Ha ha! I pulled the curtain back and saw that the poor little thing was definitely fast asleep in a most uncomfortable position! I gathered him up in my arms and placed him, for the first time ever (!!!), in his big bed...pulling the covers up too -- but not before ducking outside and getting a couple of classic piccies of my little dreamer!

And here is the little man nearly an hour later...hasn't moved an inch. Awww, what a big boy using a pillow!

I forgot to mention...

2008-04-26T23:57:00.004+10:00

Something that I can now laugh about but which mortified me at the time...

When my mother and I pulled into my driveway after our long long trip a friend of mine was here dropping off my tuppaware order. We chatted for a while, had a little peak at her new bub sleeping in her car, and then they left. Remmy came over to give me a second hug since we returned and, instead of whispering something sweet in my ear, he whispers, "I didn't want to say anything while everyone was here but you've started to retain some water!"

Yes, he really said that!!!! I was so mortified! Actually, just that morning I had commented to mother that it was the first time I had really had to push my wedding rings on...so I knew I was starting to puff up a bit! I don't know if it would have made a difference if he had waited to tell me this but mother and Terry were still here and unpacking the car, so I had a bit of uncomfortable self-consciousness until we were alone and he could apologise!

I'm finding it pretty funny now...just how wrong/rude/insensitive/inappropriate he was but it does remind me of a similar experience when I was pregnant with Jasper...the mother of a lady Remmy works with saw me out shopping and says, "Oh, is that you Chenoa? You're so much bigger than I remember!"

Now, I didn't take too much offence at this, thinking that she meant my belly had grown, but then she added, "Oh, don't worry, it's all in your face!"

How rude is that!??!! ha ha

Catch-up post!

2008-04-26T22:28:00.021+10:00

My goodness, so much has happened since I posted last! I have been far too tired to keep up with this poor blog so a catch-up post is in order.

Firstly, here is my 35 weeks + 1 day belly pic. Yes, I am getting very large and uncomfortable now! I missed my 36 week photo as we were on holiday but I'll do my best to remember my 37th.

Speaking of 37th week, I looked through all my old photos today for the date Remmy and I did a plaster cast of my pregnant belly with Jasper (as we have the same cast ready to do again this time around) and we discovered that it was done at exactly 37 weeks + 2 days! This means that we'll do the mould in exactly one week. It will be exciting to see if I am much different with this bub...I think I'm sticking out further and, after 'putting on' the Jasper-cast tonight, we know that I am a bit narrower this time...this could change in one week though I suppose!

As far as baby preparations go we have made quite a few purchases of late. We have bought a new bassinet (as I was starting to really dislike the idea of bubs going into his own room straight away and our port-a-cot is too big to fit in our bedroom)...

...Jasper got the beginnings of a new bed (Remmy is in the process of making it for him...should be finished really soon!)...he hasn't slept in it yet but is enjoying pretending to sleep on it. We'll have to get him started in it for day sleeps but I'm not entirely sure how to have success with this...must do a bit of research.

...we also ordered a 3m long security gate so that we have a 'parents-only' area in our house. This is fantastic as we can now bring in some pot plants from outside, we're using our glass coffee table for the first time since I don't know when, we don't have to worry about Jasper bumping his head on the corners of the glass dining table, we have the whole computer and desk area safe, and we can finally start decorating with ornaments! We haven't yet had any energy for decorating but it's so good to know we can! ha ha. Another purchase we made was for a baby bath/changing station that fits over the bathtub. It's a fantastic invention but unfortunately when we unpacked it we discovered that 2 of the main parts had cracks/splits in them. We e-mailed the company some photos of the damage and they apologised, saying that they've had troubles with their couriers, and they sent us replacement parts. Would you believe that these parts are damaged too? Yep, we're so keen to use this invention (it means an end to having a change table in either of the boys' rooms, plus it will save us water -- apparently the bath can be used up to age 4 but can hold 100kg so could be useful for a bit longer! -- and, being in the bathroom where there is a heat lamp, little newborn bub won't get cold in Winter), hopefully we can sort something out with the company...I guess we had best take some photos of this lot of damage and let them know!

One very scary (for me!) new development is that Jasper can now climb up his cubby house ladder and can't get down on his own! Unfortunately for us both I am too short to help him down myself so we aren't spending much time outside lately! He was bound to discover the cubby one day...all it took was for me to host mother's group here and he soon saw how much fun the other kiddies were having climbing up there. The whole episode got us talking about the difference between 'wrapping kids up in cotton-wool' and protecting them. I have always been a bit of a nervous nelly when it comes to Jasper's physical safety but I have been giving him more freedom to explore and grow lately. This ladder-climbing has thrown me though because, as one of my mother's group friends so aptly phrased, they're going to get their first broken bone sometime. Hmmmm, yes, they might break a bone one day but I'm not so much worried about a broken bone as I am a fatal accident...a fall from a cubby perhaps, landing on such an angle as to cause fatal damage! Ok, so maybe just a tad melodramatic but seriously, how could I ever forgive myself if I ignored that jittery-feeling I have sometimes and something serious happened? So, the mission for the cubby house area now is for Remmy to take Jasper out and give him lessons on how to get down safely (both down the ladder and the slippery dip), and, for those times when I'm the only adult around, Remmy is going to make a quick device we can hook over the first few rungs of the ladder so Jasper can't get up...just until he's confident and skilled enough to not need help down. For me, this is a good mix of parental responsibility while teaching independance and safety.

The most important thing, however, that has happened since I've been on here is that Sam had her baby boy!! She called him Javier (Jay for short). It was an exciting day for everyone because it was also our mother's birthday!

Pretty much immediately after he was born he was taken away to have a stent put in his heart. I don't fully understand what that was for but he is due to have his big operation (to switch the heart valves so his blood can properly oxygenate) soon...maybe even in just under a week!

As Terry's birthday was just a few days after mother's, Remmy and I hosted a big birthday BBQ on the Saturday night to celebrate. It was here that Mother and I decided that we'd go on a road-trip to visit Sam and Javier (and Sam's partner, Ritchie). I was hesitant at first, wondering if it would be just my luck to go into labour on the road, but decided in the end that it was worth the small risk. Actually, we left on Monday and by Monday night I was having very painful Braxton Hicks almost constantly! We were getting pretty worried but after stopping for the night and getting a bit of rest I was as good as new (and the Braxton's were never that strong or persistant for the rest of the trip...lucky!)!

Sam seems to be doing really well thankfully! She's staying in good spirits and is spending a lot of time with her new little man. Javier is just adorable! I was so glad I was able to have a cuddle with him...I was a bit nervous the entire time though because we were warned not to touch him too much as it would excite him, yet my unborn bub wouldn't stop kicking him...making him wriggle and his little heart rate seemed to race! I was holding my breath just waiting for the buzzers to go off! Thankfully he was fine! Sam and Javier are now in the cardiac hospital where he's to have the big op. I'm sure everything will be just fine...I will, however, be holding my breath with the rest of the family until he's safely at home in *hopefully* a few short weeks.

Jasper was such a good boy for the entire trip! We have a dvd player in our car so that saved our sanity a few times but all-in-all I've never met a happier, more patient child! We were amazed! Here are a couple of piccies from one of our many visits to a road-house (taking 2 days to drive there and 2 to drive back you can imagine how we were happy to see the back of such establishments! ha ha).

Even though I knew we wouldn't have much time, I couldn't go to QLD and not pop in for a quick visit with my old very good friend (and one-time flattie) Lydia, and her adorable little girl! They live just on this side of the NSW border so we got to see them on our way home for the shortest amount of time. Lydia hadn't changed much and it was so good to meet little Alana! Here are some happy snaps...

Actually, looking at them reminds me that Jasper had a massive tantrum while there which, while probably being due to a bit of teething, was pretty disgraceful! Check out the middle photo again, I could hardly keep him in my arms! ha ha

Just in case you haven't seen enough pictures from our journey, here are some cuties from a quick coffee break (hot choc in my case!) at McCafe. I don't think I ever did get around to posting piccies of Jasper wearing his monkey harness so here you go!

Hormones!!!!

2008-04-11T13:56:00.004+10:00

Far out there have been some hormones flying around our house of late (and I'm not just talking about those coming from the pregnant lady!)! Won't bore you with the details, instead will post up my 34 week pregnancy photo...

...a comparison one of 34 weeks pregnant with Jasper (I'm much more 'in front' this time!)...

...and get busy around the house (as it's sure to make me feel better than dwelling on the effects of hormones!)!

Out with the old...

2008-04-07T21:59:00.008+10:00

Today Jasper's new nappies arrived in the mail...Weenee's flushable pads and pouch pants! They're quite a cool invention but time will tell if they're something we want to invest in for full-time use for both Jasper and this next bub (when he reaches 6kg...there's no way I'm buying more than 2 sizes! ha ha).

http://www.eenee.com.au/index1.html

As usual we spent some time outside this afternoon so I took a few pics. They're not the best quality of pics but honestly he was moving pretty fast and I wasn't keen to run around looking for a good shot.

What a big cuddle he got when Remmy came home!

You wouldn't guess that I only mowed the lawns yesterday would you? Perhaps it just looks a bit messy because we didn't bother edging! I'm too nervous to cut the grass too short as I don't want to kill it (we're not very experienced with such things having come from a house with a courtyard only!)! ha ha

We also sold Jasper's old nappies today! He only had 5 but gosh they went fast...3 to one, 2 to another (and plenty of others interested!). I loved those nappies but we can't help it Jasper has a sensitive bottom. Here's one last look;

I had big plans for this evening but it got late very quickly! Might try and get a fairly early night.

The sad fact...

2008-04-06T18:48:00.004+10:00

...about being me and 7.5 months pregnant is that life becomes so difficult! Even the small things like rolling over in bed and finding your hips/pelvis click either out of, or in place while your legs are fighting a cramp in both calf muscles.

I thought the low-point of my day though would have been Jasper helping me pull off my bed socks this morning (I need to wear socks because the aforementioned trials of rolling over in bed prevent me from using any bed covers!!)...not so! While getting ready to mow our lawn today I decided upon wearing joggers (as I am still nursing blisters from last week's effort in slides) only to find that I could not do them up under any circumstances! I was so shocked, helpless, and embarrassed that I started to cry, and that is how Remmy found me about 10 minutes later. He helped me do up my shoes and apologised for not making life easy for me lately when I've been going through some issues myself. That was nice...life clearly isn't all bad as long as you have someone to help you through the difficulties.

7 to go!

2008-04-03T20:20:00.007+11:00

Graduating to 33 weeks pregnant has surprised me! I don't know what I was expecting but all of a sudden it feels as though I have so much to do and no time at all. I can officially say that our baby is going to be here next month! Wow, that is exciting!

For the first time...EVER...someone has commented (after asking how much longer I have to go before bub arrives), "wow, not long then?"...usually I get, "really? I thought you were due any day now!" ha ha. Actually I think these photos do make me look smaller than I am (due to using a different angled mirror to the other photos I've taken throughout the pregnancy), but in all honesty, I'm doing ok! I'm probably bigger than I was with Jasper at this same point but I keep telling myself I'm not purely to avoid the self-pity! I still harbour some hope for a VBAC so I simply MUST NOT grow as big as I was with Jasper! I'll keep using this 'small' mirror and skew my perception...I'll try not to notice how big I *actually* grow. ha ha

My precious boy

2008-03-31T22:06:00.006+11:00

Just a few piccies of my precious little man playing in our new backyard. Well, I'm not sure I would call it 'playing' as there is very little in the way of toys or equipment out there at the moment, but he's having fun anyway!

He loves exploring around corners and playing with anything and everything that he comes across. Ordinarily I would be a nervous wreck and I would be following him all over ensuring he wasn't putting rocks in his mouth or skinning his knees etc etc...it's with great willpower that I sit reading a magazine (or a Stampin' Up! catalogue! ha ha), only sneaking around to check up on him every 2 minutes or so! I really am doing all that I can to slowly let him have some independence and, so far, success! He is learning to come to me (or cry or scream!) if he wants me and I am learning that he is more capable than I give him credit for. What a big boy!

Last chance!

2008-03-31T21:59:00.003+11:00

Today is the absolute last day of ordering from the 2007-2008 Stampin' Up! Idea Book and Catalogue! I am not placing an order but I still feel the slight anxiety one feels on knowing it's the last chance something is able to be done...regardless of how much one wants to do it! I've got to say though that the new Idea Book and Catalogue is so fantastic that once midnight hits and it becomes 'active', I will not be looking back! Gosh they have done a good job having a few major themes this time around which run through the whole range of products...gorgeous themes too! I am one happy demonstrator!

Remembering...

2008-03-30T23:21:00.011+11:00

I have a few pics to share tonight.

Today marks 1 whole year since my Dad died tragically in a fire. I don't think that I dealt with his death last year but I believe that I've begun to now, as of this morning, thankfully. It was such a difficult thing to process as we didn't have the regular father/daughter relationship. Instead, we left QLD in 1980 (when I was 2yrs old) without him and I might have seen him a handful of times before my teenage years (and spoken on the phone maybe twice as many times). When I was studying at uni I went on a road trip by myself and visited him and one of my step-sisters, and we spoke on the phone and wrote letters pretty regularly from then on. He wasn't the best at keeping in touch though and I remember feeling disappointed quite regularly. We would always get back in touch after these periods of disappointment however, and, for what must have been a year before he died the contact had been more regular than before...he had a job he enjoyed, he had his brother next door, friends, and was planning a visit to see my sisters and I (and meet our husbands and his grandchildren). He never made it here in the end so I guess some things will have to stay 'unfinished'.

We travelled out West for his funeral (with one of my local sisters being the organiser) and saw the remains of his house (actually his brother's house). We each took a lump of some kind of quartz from the rubble to remember him by (apparently they were all lined up by a little fence). Our lump/rock has been in our garage all this time but today I asked Remmy to place it in our backyard. I don't yet have a photo but I'll post one up when I take one...we'll make it a little area dedicated to Dad. It's special that we were able to do that today, a year ago we would never have imagined we would own our own home and therefore have somewhere to place our lump!

Something else we took from the rubble was amazingly a poem I had written when I was 14 and sent Dad! It was about his mum (my Nan). When you look at the above photos of the rubble it's hard to believe anything could be found, let alone a solitary piece of paper! This was the only thing we were able to salvage so it's pretty special!

My Dad worked as a tour guide for a mine in Broken Hill. He would take people underground and teach them how the miners lived. He loved his job so we couldn't leave without doing the tour he would have taken people on many many times. It was truly frightening I have to say! I have never felt claustrophobic before in my life but I was too too close to screaming out that I couldn't breathe while we were undergroud with only the guide's torch on to illustrate the working conditions! My goodness I don't know how I got through it but this photo was taken upon emerging, was a great feeling to see the light of day again, I don't know how Dad coped! He used to be a bit of an adrenalin-junkie though, as I'm told. He used to drive like a crazy man on dirt roads, he loved doing stunts in his car just for the fun of it (for example, one of his colleagues told me how he would close gates by swinging his car around as if it were a hand!), and he even got his pilots licence. I guess a little underground darkness wouldn't pose too much of a problem!

He had a bit of a sense of humour that I'm guessing many people didn't know how to take! After the funeral we took home with us a briefcase full of his personal effects that his brother had kept at his house and, amongst it all, was this Christmas card he had written for Remmy, Jasper and I and never sent! He didn't forget to send it or anything, we definitely received a card from him that year...this one must have been one he had written and then changed his mind about sending as he may have anticipated that Remmy would be offended! It's quite funny to read but, like I said, I'm guessing that he offended his fair share of people with his kind of humour. It's admirable that he recognised this in himself though, not many do! I appreciated that he was never pretentious. He used to be very honest to me even when it made him look atrocious! He also gave me his candid version of events between him and my mother and, based upon all I had ever heard, he was honest about this too.

Before we left Broken Hill last year we took one last trip to his grave site and placed some flowers.

So did my sister's as they left town...

So one year has gone and I still haven't got to see my Dad, Remmy still hasn't met his Father-in-law, and Jasper hasn't met his Grandad. I have been unsure about what I am supposed to be feeling for most of the year but now I realise that whatever I'm feeling is ok. What I'm feeling now is incredible sadness. Sadness that Dad won't get to enjoy all the good things in life again, sadness that there were so many disappointments, sadness that we didn't get to see each other just one last time. One of my sisters says that when it comes to losing someone there is never enough time you can spend with them, so there's no point dwelling on this. This is true I guess so I won't dwell on the sadness, instead I will just 'remember'...

Hello baby!

2008-03-26T23:43:00.006+11:00

Dear bubba,

Yesterday Jasper, Daddy and I travelled to a city a couple of hours away just so we could get a glimpse of your beautiful self! We were so excited to be able to confirm that you are a little boy and that you're growing well with no problems in sight. We discovered that you apparently have long legs for your age, that you are on average measuring 5 days ahead of your 'dates', that you have some spikey looking hair (!!) and that you are too cheeky (or shy!) as you wouldn't let us see your face in 3D! ha ha. Actually the ultrasound machine is really rather strange in that we could see your beautiful face in 2D but, when switched over to 3D, the view was obscured by your arm and hand, your umbilical cord, and also some placenta! The sonographer had me jumping up and down in the bathroom, wriggling and jiggling you as much as we could while I was lying down, and we even tried me up on the table on all fours but still that hand wouldn't budge! ha ha. Nevermind, we were so happy to see you, even for a second! It was well worth the trip...I would do it again in a heartbeat! Speaking of heartbeats...while I was waiting for my disc of photos of you to be processed a different sonographer asked me to come back in as they had "forgotten" to do something! Of course I welcomed the chance to see you again! :) It turned out that they wanted to check the blood flow through the cord and, just in case you're interested one day, I'm happy to report that you were apparently travelling very well and were nice and relaxed!

I feel as though I have bonded with you so much already. I am amazed at how different you are already to your big brother too! I always thought I would do my best not to "compare" my children, in the negative sense of the word, but I am pleasantly surprised to find that there is no negative comparisons possible! I absolutely adore that you and he are different and I promise you that I will always celebrate your differences and do my best to help you feel as special in your own right as I can. I'm sure you won't always think I am being a fair mum but hopefully when you are grown you can look back and see that I put a great deal of energy into fairness. :)

I am really looking forward to meeting you but I also don't want this pregnancy journey to be over so quickly! We only have another 8 weeks or so together, I can't believe how fast time is flying by! I am getting more and more uncomfortable by the day but I'm loving you more and more each day too, so will endure all the pain in the world if I have to! I thought this little letter would be more profound, more revealing, and even more 'cute' than it is (as that is how I think of you in my head!) but I guess no words can ever express what I want to express -- especially not at this late hour! ha ha. I think about you all the time baby boy and will see you very soon.

Lots of love,

Mummy.

xxxxxxxx

A photographic surprise!

2008-03-24T20:00:00.006+11:00

I went to my parents' house yesterday to get copies of some of the piccies they've taken on their cameras over the past few months and look what I found:

These beautiful photos (amongst one million more!) were taken when Remmy and Jasper met up with Terry at a place called Mack's Reserve on the 2nd of March. It was very much a spontaneous thing as Remmy was keen to get out of the house while I was acting hairdresser and Terry was taking the dogs for a run.

I copied the photo file entirely and only looked through them late last night. I was so amazed at just how many fabulous pics were there that I texted Terry straight away. Hmmm, might need to gently shove my boys out the door again very soon to meet up with Terry!

31 weeks + 1

2008-03-24T19:44:00.004+11:00

These pics were taken on Friday 21st March. Just wanted to get them up before my 3D scan tomorrow! I'm so excited to be able to see my baby! He has been hurting me with his kicks and shoves lately but there's no limit to the pain I will grin through for him.

An Easter pic

2008-03-24T01:33:00.004+11:00

I am so tired! My un-born baby unfortunately isn't! He is doing such a dance in there that, despite my massive desire to curl up in bed after a lovely warm shower, I am here...obviously! ha ha (see, told you I was tired! lol)

This pic is of my beautiful niece Grace and I. I think I mentioned before that we've done this same pose for the previous couple of years too, to measure our height. I don't know how she compares to her 13yr old friends but she sure is tall next to her 'almost' 30yr old Aunty! Her younger sister is quickly catching up to me so maybe next year I will have to have two pics taken!

New beginnings

2008-03-21T19:20:00.003+11:00

We did it! We're finally in our first home! We still have boxes galore hanging around but we've done really well with organising the main furniture, all the clothes are in the appropriate rooms (Remmy's and mine, Jasper's, and even the little bubba has his clothes in his wardrobe), kitchen cupboards are all organised, and the washing is under control. We still have toys inhibiting our every move but hey, everyone is happy and fairly relaxed, which I'm so so so thankful for! The little list we started of things we need for the house isn't so little anymore but we're in no real rush to change anything (well, apart from the front and laundry door locks...we needed to add deadbolts for insurance purposes so we just bought 2 sets with bolt + regular lockable door handles). We have a 'catch-cry' we're using at least a dozen times each day..."is it a priority??" It's interesting what one person classes as a priority over what the other thinks (I'm referring both to priorities of time and effort while organising the house as well as priorities of spending)! We're getting along surprisingly well though and are both feeling 'heard', which is great for two people who both love to be in charge!

Jasper has been amazing throughout the whole packing/moving/unpacking fiasco, he has surprised me so much! He has been content to play around the boxes and, apart from skipping just a couple of his day-sleeps when we first moved in, his routine has been virtually unchanged...what a little trooper! He is growing up before our very eyes though I'm noticing, as tomorrow -- his 18month birthday -- nears. Just as a 'for instance', today marked the first time he has ever openned a regular door handle all by himself (thank goodness we were organised and bought the white door handle security thingies last week!), the first time he has climbed up onto the window ledge and back down again (and had me trust that he's perfectly in control and go back to what I was doing), and the second night in a row that he's not wanted his bedtime bottle on my lap in the lounge room before being put to bed. Instead we've sent him to bed with a bottle -- a bottle he didn't touch last night and I'm hoping he won't touch tonight so we can stop it completely. I usually make him a milkshake each afternoon so I'm sure he doesn't need the extra at night. Remmy weighed him tonight and he's a whopping 14.5kg! Lately his appetite has been fantastic, I've never had to worry about his nutritional needs being met, I sure am one lucky mum! Like we predicted he loves being outside. I've taken a few photos (and even some video footage of him kicking around in a mud puddle out the back) but I don't yet know where my discs are hiding so am hesitant to copy them off my memory card onto the computer in case I forget to back them up. I'll post a few for sure as soon as possible.

I can't update you on the family without including the soon-to-be addition! This little one is growing fast and suprising me with his painful kicks! I honestly don't remember Jasper ever hurting me like this bub does! I think the reason might be that, while he was supposedly head-down at my last appointment, I'm almost certain that he's lying sideways now. His sudden stretches are hold-onto-the-bench material and, just last night, he moved constantly for at least 20 minutes! This was so lovely for me but Remmy was looking worried about what kind of monster we have created! ha ha. I'm counting down the days until we get to see this little man...Tuesday is so soon! It will only be a few weeks before the gestational age of Jasper when we had his 3D scan but I'm strangely not anticipating seeing our baby look like, well, a baby! I am going to be pleasantly surprised when I see how perfect he is. I took some updated belly piccies this morning so will post them soon.

Happy Easter!
xxx

Always the way!

2008-03-12T20:17:00.010+11:00

Well we're officially packing for the move to our very own house. Yes, I know we're moving the day after tomorrow and we only started packing yesterday but we're doing surprisingly well considering the whole house has come down with a nasty combination of gastro/sinusitis/common cold! When we most need rest we can't afford rest...isn't this always the way?

Here are a couple of my gorgeous little man playing around the chaos that is packing...

I've also been making a few cards this week...three anniversary cards (one sister's 1st wedding anniversary, another sister's 15th anniversary, and brother-in-law's 10th anniversary), 3 birthday cards (sister-in-law's 30th, brother-in-law's 22rd, and niece's 13th), and one spare.

I'll be back with some piccies of our new house as soon as our internet is sorted out at the other end. So exciting!

Creative me!

2008-03-09T22:07:00.006+11:00

The explanation mark in the title is because I am always surprised when people comment on how creative I am! It's strange because I really really love most creative things (crochet, scrapbooking and card-making, playing the saxophone, drawing, painting, interior design, fashion, photography, writing, even organising such things as fitness programs and other goal-oriented pursuits) yet I struggle to think of myself as a creative person.

Today I went to a baby shower (which also turned out to be a tuppaware party...yes, I couldn't resist and ordered a few things!). My gift was about as creative as they come...I had crocheted the baby boy a little rug...

...made a card for the parents...

...and wrapped it all up in wrapping paper I lovingly stamped with a blue hearts background repeated to look seamless. I did also include a toy for the bub but, as that wasn't made by me, I won't dwell on that. ha ha

An old friend of mine, questioned on what he thought my ideal job would be, surprised me and said an architect. While this may be a far cry from psychology (which I know I will also enjoy once working in the field), I don't think I realised at the time just how well he knew me...I think he would have called me a creative person!

Discoveries

2008-03-08T22:59:00.004+11:00

There comes a time in every parent's life when they encounter a scene like this one...

...but I shudder to think what may have happened if he wasn't 'discovered' right then!

Do you know something else that surprised me today? Jasper had a swimming lesson so as usual Remmy took him in the water while I watched from the sidelines (I feel it's a bit hot for my pregnant self in that water plus I don't like my chances of finding bathers to flatter! ha ha). One mother came up to me afterwards and praised Jasper on doing really well today, and another came up to me and told me how much Jasper loves the social aspects of the lessons! I nodded in agreement but secretly wondered if she was referring to a different Jasper. I questioned Remmy about this once we'd left and yes, apparently he is a little social butterfly and his very own mother didn't know! Apparently the reason he's often crying throughout the lessons is because he wants to interact with the other babies/toddlers/older kids hanging around on the pool steps! At mother's group he is usually the one off to the side playing by himself quietly (or screaming because someone doesn't want to give him their food/drink!) so it's no wonder I thought he was more independant! I would always do my best to nurture social skills in Jasper (as I would any other skill) but I'll be paying particular attention now that I'm aware he has a natural interest. Despite my feeling sad I didn't see this first, I'm so proud that his little personality is coming out.

We finally bought some removalists boxes today. It's hard to believe that this time next week we will be living in our very own house! Man have we got some work to do!

Milestones in heels...

2008-03-04T21:17:00.006+11:00

I had a proud mummy day yesterday! I was proud of Jasper for seeming to have achieved some cognitive milestones and so proud of myself for knowing my son so well that I noticed them. The cognitive milestones I speak of might not be actual 'milestones' but they certainly seem to be. The first difference I noticed was in how well he was role-playing all of a sudden. He fished elmo out of his orange tub trug toy-bin and gave him a cuddle and kiss when I promted him to. We were then putting elmo into various vehicles (like his little people bus) and Jasper was wheeling them around. He was later doing this kind of thing with other soft toys...he wasn't treating them that way even a day before! When Remmy got home from work we were chatting about his newfound ability to role-play and then we heard clop, clop, clopping down our hall! This is what we found...

[might need to add videos later...problem with computer!]

We were laughing so much, him putting on one of my shoes illustrated his new ability perfectly! Remmy then decided that one shoe wasn't enough...look at how well this child can walk in heels! Too funny!

Another clever thing I noticed him do was just after dinner...he did an almighty burp and I called him a piggy, making him laugh. I repeated myself and he laughed again, grabbed his toes and said, "little piggy" -- lately we have been doing that nursery rhyme on his toes...this little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home...etc etc! I was so proud!

Just another Saturday

2008-03-01T19:54:00.006+11:00

Another Saturday, another swimming lesson for my little man. He did so well today...he learnt how to pull up his whole body weight on a bar (which one day he will shimmy along) and also how to climb out of the pool. I was a very proud side-liner! Here are some piccies I took over lunch, he's usually famished after swimming (not that he doesn't always have a healthy appetite!)!

I forgot to take an updated belly pic on Thursday (when I was 28 weeks) so here is my 28 weeks, 2 days shot from above! My bump looks deceivingly petite here which is why I'm showing this one, and this one only! ha ha

Remmy and I were up so late last night (it must have been sometime after 1am that we finally fell into bed) because we were on a cleaning spree! I still can't believe that we'll be moving to our very own house in under two weeks, but life goes on and this humble abode must be re-let. For all our troubles the mother and daughter who came through at 9am were gone by 9:05am but seemed impressed. I hope they decide to move in because I don't think I can take another clean up!

Is anyone else surprised that March is upon us already?!

Two promises broken...

2008-02-27T20:00:00.003+11:00

Today my mother, Jasper, and I travelled to our nearest city as used to be customary for a Wednesday. We'd decided a couple of months ago to not go every week, only when we really needed to, as we seem to just spend spend spend! Today I needed to go and do my Glucose Tolerance Test (to determine if I likely have gestational diabetes); this involved drinking a very sugary lemonade-like drink, sitting for one hour, and then having some blood taken. I will get my results next Wednesday at my antenatal appointment (yes, another Wednesday trip required...what a shame! ha ha).

I had some great retail therapy today...I got Jasper a new maxi-rider carseat (so the baby can use his), a toddler seat attachment for our pram, a belly casting kit (to be done around the same time as my Jasper-belly cast), and about 12 items of clothing for the baby and Jasper. We found some fantastic bargains so it was a very successful shopping day. Two of the clothing items I chose were Pumpkin Patch shorts in a size 2 and identical shorts in a size 3-6months. I am looking forward to dressing Jasper and his baby brother in these shorts and taking some gorgeous pictures! It's too funny because I promised myself a long time ago I would never do this to my children but I just couldn't resist! ha ha

The moment that stands out for me today wasn't shopping related though (however did have a 'shopping-related' effect!). We were at the park having a picnic lunch while Jasper was running around and my mother was chasing after him (bless her for saving my poor back the effort!). I don't remember what exactly was said but it had something to do with her acknowledging that Jasper is such a "determined" little man which, whether she meant it to or not, made me feel like a load was taken off my shoulders! All this time I have thought that I mustn't be doing something right as a mum, discipline-wise, (as he can be quite disregarding at times) but she told me that I'm definitely not too soft on him and, as I know I'm not too hard, I felt vindicated! My mother has always been strong on discipline (most would say too strong but, if nothing else, she gets results!). This park conversation came about because she was trying to keep Jasper from falling down a gutter onto a dirt path and he just wouldn't leave the area alone despite her harsh tones. Physically removing him from the situation and trying to distract him wasn't working either as he'd make his way straight back there. It was a frustrating experience (no more frustrating than I deal with on a daily basis though so I was quietly enjoying being able to watch his antics from a distance for a change!) so I decided to order him one of those 'child-harnesses' when we went to the baby store! This was the second promise I'd broken today because I had also told myself I would never ever use a harness on my child and treat them like a dog! Now I'm a parent I'm much more concerned with safety than 'what it looks like', not to mention the fact that I don't need sky-rocketing stress levels everytime we leave the house, just anticipating my "determined" son's wish for being somewhere away from where we need to be. Here is a link to the harness I ordered:
http://www.goldbug.com.au/collection.php?s=11
It's the monkey one second down in the first column. Apparently they are great for the child as, unlike usual harnesses, the child sees this one as 'their backpack' and not something you're attaching to them. Also great for us in that Jasper can carry a small drink and a snack himself, freeing up the nappy bag for more newborn-type things (I have been wondering if my current nappy bag will be big enough for both boys). Remmy has called Jasper a 'monkey' for so long now so it's cute that he will have a monkey of his own. I'll post up a picture of him in this harness when we get it, it's sure to make me p*ss myself laughing!

The only other thing I bought today was some wool to make a friend a rug for her baby shower next month...I had better crochet quickly!

What a long post from me! I haven't taken any noteworthy photos over the last few days...maybe tomorrow. Do you know what I've realised since waffling on with all of these random thoughts? I've realised how strange, yet fantastic, it is to have broken two promises to myself in the one day and to not be disappointed about either of them! I am proud of myself for being open to change and not stubborn just for the sake of it!

Stampin' Up! Joy

2008-02-26T22:11:00.003+11:00

When I look at my slideshow thingie of scrapbooking I cringe. I shouldn't cringe though because what you see is all I've ever done...my complete journey from absolute beginner up to now. I know I haven't done many layouts (LOs), that's why I shouldn't cringe. I do accept that I am still learning and have much to learn. Already my style is evolving so fast it's difficult to pin-point how and why!

One possible reason for at least some of the evolution is my current facination (or obsession if you will) with Stampin' Up! (SU). I joined as a demonstrator back in September 2007 and, while I haven't done much with my little business yet, I have ordered over $2K worth of products for myself and am having a ball learning how to use everything. Of course there are never enough hours in the day (and my scrapping space may never be tidy enough to be 100% productive 100% of the time) but I really enjoy my hobby.

Those familiar with SU may notice that only a few of the LOs in my slideshow use these products (but that they use them almost exclusively). I'll try and minimise my use of non-SU products from now on so that customers (and potential customers) can see more clearly how versatile SU products are.

I have been driving myself a little crazy since saving this slideshow because I can't for the life of me work out how to get it from inside a post to under my profile picture (under the heading My Scrapbooking)! I will try and get some assistance on this matter but I suppose I know where it is when I want it in the meantime.

I placed a SU order for a friend today. This was her first order and I'm so excited for her to be discovering the products (and the craft)! She is more interested in card making than scrapbooking but they are both as satisfying as each other so I'm sure she will have loads of fun when she gets her box of 'goodies'! Another friend contacted me today and wishes to place her second order with me before the end of February. Might be a good excuse to get a few more things myself at the same time! It's such a yummy yet addictive company and hobby all in one...don't know what I would do without it!

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-02-23T22:20:00.001+11:00

Scrapbooking and card making...

2008-02-22T20:08:00.003+11:00

I'll be looking at getting some photos taken of some of my work over the next few days so hopefully will be on show here very soon.

(Don't know why I bothered with this little post...I still haven't told anyone about this blog so it's not like anyone will be hanging out for my pictures! ha ha)

Third Trimester!

2008-02-22T19:48:00.004+11:00

I made it to the magical third trimester yesterday! I have found that I'm eating more at dinner, I am more tired, I am more anxious, and I am also much crankier than I was even two weeks ago. On the upside, tomorrow is Saturday so I have a break in my routine with Remmy home too...maybe I will snap out of my moods before next week!

I took these beautiful photos while cooking dinner last night, I am the luckiest lady to have such a loving Daddy for my son!

A better day

2008-02-19T20:01:00.011+11:00

Today Jasper and I stayed indoors. Lately I have been working so hard at having somewhere to be most afternoons so, for a change, we played and yes, I tidied up in the study. I'm not quite finished my organising but I did well and am proud for doing what I did. I am also proud of letting go with Jasper and really enjoying just being crazy with him...singing, dancing, tickling him. It was a tiring yet fun day.

I couldn't resist getting some photos when he dragged this tray out of his little drawing desk and tried so hard to fit inside. He paused to watch some tv while standing in the tray at one point and I really love the expressions on his face. He finally got to fit inside just one second before toppling straight back and bumping his head. Of course I caught it all on camera.

This next photo caught my attention as I felt I had seen it before.

After a little rummaging around in old folders I found an old photo of Remmy as a baby...such similar lips, cheeks, chin and jaw, even ears!

Well I am off to spend half an hour on the cross-trainer (I was serious last night, as much as my post may have sounded a little like well-meant New Years Resolutions!)! Today is a better day.

Motivation please!

2008-02-18T21:19:00.006+11:00

How fantastic is it when life is rolling along just how you like it? I don't know about the majority of people but I find that there's usually at least one area of my life that I feel could use a 'pick-me-up'. At the moment it's a few different areas of my life...I feel like I have 'dropped the ball', if you will, and I need buckets of motivation to do the smallest things.

Ok, I will be brave and more specific. In order, the three areas in need of the most attention for me right now are:

1) my body - I promised myself a few months ago that, if I did nothing else this pregnancy, I would walk on our cross-trainer as often as possible (at least 3 times a week but preferably 5 times). I'm not thinking about my appearance only here (although that is definitely an issue for me at the moment), I'm thinking about preparing my body for a potential VBAC delivery. Well, I know I will likely need another c-section but if there's even a chance of a VBAC I need to be in top shape for my peace of mind. I went really well for a couple of months and I was really keeping the weight down. Over the last few weeks I have been on the cross-trainer maybe twice! This is crazy because I really enjoy my time on there listening to old songs and thinking about this baby and life in general. I'm not sure why my motivation has taken a dive but I will be doing my best to get it back!

2) my house - I am such a 'house proud' person who can't seem to concentrate in a mess! My house is a mess for my standards (and a bit unclean too if truth be told!). It is very difficult to maintain my house when I am this far along with my pregnancy...I've been advised not to pick up the vacuum cleaner or do anything over-exerting due to the massive tendancy I have towards getting Symphasis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD, a painful condition in pregnancy where the pelvis is more unstable than usual due to the hormone relaxin and damaging or repetitive movements). I ended up on crutches when pregnant with Jasper because of this condition and I'm getting early symptoms again. Hmmmm, actually maybe my issue isn't the cleaning of the house at all, it's probably more to do with how unorganised I am in the house at the moment! What I mean is that I have 101 things I need to schedule into my diary to do...things that, until I schedule them, are just sitting around the house reminding me of my laziness! This is what I mean...(look in the background of this photo I took this afternoon and you will see the part of our desk in the study with many papers to deal with and other random things that just need putting away. You can also see a sewing machine out and ready as there's at least 4 bags of material lying around waiting to be masterpieces!)...

3) my business - my business is a bit of a joke at the moment actually! I became a Stampin' Up! demonstrator at least 5 months ago and, while I absolutely love making things using my products, I am currently too nervous to set up a demonstration/party! After talking with Lisa (the lovely lady who recruited me) I am convinced that the cause for my nerves is that while I am pregnant I tend to 'over think' about things and, coupled with the infamous 'pregnancy brain' (where it's really difficult to construct any sentence you may wish to articulate and you wind up sounding very silly!), I am uncharacteristically shy and withdrawn! When I signed up as a demonstrator I remember telling Lisa how my favourite part would be giving the demonstrations because I get a 'buzz' when talking about products I believe in (I know this from my experience as a store manager in Perth)...so imagine the buzz when talking about products I believe in to do the craft that I'm passionate about, scrapbooking!

Ok, so maybe I need to get organised in my house, before I can work on my body, before I get confident enough to work on my business...or is that just a cop-out? I haven't told a single soul about my Blog yet so the question is very much rhetorical (as much as I would love to just be given all the answers!)...

Lazy Sundays?

2008-02-17T10:25:00.002+11:00

My boys have gone out to watch the go-karts in a neighbouring city today. While I have a list as long as my arm of things to do today I always miss them when they go on little outings like this. It's really nice to miss them though and get lots done at home. If we decide that this little baby is our last I should probably get used to days like today, as the only lady in the family. Sometimes it's refreshing to find that you're happy doing the roles of your gender. That's not a very politically correct thing to write, I realise, but the beauty of this day and age is that, as women, we can choose to busy ourselves with looking after our houses and families or we can just enjoy our lazy Sunday's. I just hope they take some good photos for me.

Valentine's Day 2008

2008-02-15T20:33:00.004+11:00

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Remmy and I decided that we wouldn't buy gifts this year because we're trying to gear ourselves up to next month when we'll have our first mortgage. He told me on Monday that there was to be a meeting after work on Thursday so he'd be a little late home. I reminded him that it was Valentine's Day on Thursday but that his meeting wouldn't be a problem as long as he thought of something romantic we could do which wouldn't cost any money. On Wednesday he informed me, with a smile, that we could watch a romantic movie together. His smile gave away that he thought it was an easy 'way out' for him but I thought this was perfect so I ignored the smile. We had borrowed The Notebook to watch a couple of months ago but Remmy never felt like watching it. It's such a lovely movie, possibly the most romantic one I have seen! It was great to relax with Remmy too as we're usually both doing our own thing and rarely take the time to just stop.

Yesterday also marked the 26th week of my pregnancy. He has been so active this last week but, as I understand, babies are supposed to be at their most active between weeks 24 and 29, so we're right on schedule. I was being silly in this first photo and was amazed to see my belly both in the mirror and at the bottom of the photo. If I don't laugh at how gigantic I feel (and look!) I will likely cry, so laugh with me, please!

Out of control

2008-02-13T20:52:00.003+11:00

I've just spent the better part of an hour detailing all the moments in my day that frustrated me and/or made me feel hopeless and helpless. As I would love to be a more positive person I will just say that I needed far too much help today for my liking and, considering that I nearly fainted while out shopping, I'm going to start looking after myself a little better from now on. How can I do this? Well physically I can eat well and drink enough water, and do my fitness more regularly, and emotionally I can set small goals for myself and improve my self-confidence. It sounds so easy!

My boys

2008-02-12T14:03:00.000+11:00

It's the strangest feeling when I'm cuddling Jasper and my tummy starts changing shape. I can actually feel my heart growing bigger to accommodate this new little boy into my/our world.

I don't spend much time thinking about how Jasper will cope when this little one makes an appearance in May but it's difficult not to wonder for just a tiny second. I'm sure he will be fine with my time being divided (and I hope he will cope fine with Remmy's time being divided)...will he be gentle enough though? I guess it's our job to teach him to be gentle. Maybe I should give him one of my childhood dolls to play with now so he gets a head start. Watch this space!

As for my other 'boy'...how will he cope when this new bub arrives? Do you know what? I think we will have a better relationship after this bub than what we did after Jasper was born simply because many of our struggles were over both of us wanting to do everything! At least neither of us will be physically able to do everything when we have two little munchkins! He is a great Dad and deserves so much credit for the time he puts into his role.

I feel so lucky to be the 'lady of [a] house' of three boys...my boys.

One of those days...

2008-02-11T21:38:00.000+11:00

I think I have a pretty unique situation. My husband is a rare breed and absolutely adores spending time with Jasper. He tackles him, chases him, and throws him around even...the laughter is almost constant around here on the weekends. So much so that come Monday, when Remmy is back at work, Jasper suffers 'daddy-withdrawals' and we tend to both be pretty miserable.

Today, being one of those days, I decided to take Jasper to the park to cheer him up. We had heaps of fun for about an hour and then another little boy arrived with his grandma. For some reason this other boy's constant yelling out for my attention to watch him slide down the slippery dip, his interferance with whatever Jasper happened to be doing, and his calling me 'big girl' really got on my nerves and we ended up leaving. Perhaps it was just my pregnancy hormones.

When we got home I let Jasper walk down the hall following me (doctor's orders not to pick him up when it's not necessary) and he tripped over his new shoes. He's tripped so many times in the last couple of months that, while he cried more than usual, I stood him up and got him following me again. It wasn't until I'd reached the kitchen that I looked back and noticed blood on his shirt and chin! I picked him up and tried to see where he was bleeding but I couldn't see the source...he must have bitten his lip somewhere when he tripped but it wasn't serious...he stopped crying almost immediately and so did the bleeding. I made him a milkshake and nearly cried because I felt so inadequate as a mum. I know I couldn't have protected him from that little stumble. It was more that he stumbled after me cutting short his fun at the park because I couldn't handle a little boy, after him almost swallowing rocks, leaves, and even an old watermelon seed at the park because I couldn't scoop them out of his mouth properly, after him screaming at the back door for his Daddy all morning, and after a weekend of feeling a little 'uninvolved'. Yes, it sure was one of those days...

Growing up

2008-02-07T20:45:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I bought my son Jasper his first pair of shoes. Well, he's been wearing shoes for quite some time now but these shoes are different...these are his first shoes since being able to walk...these are his first necessary shoes.

Today I took a picture of these shoes in the hope that I will forever remember how I felt. I am a mixture of very proud of him (that he's reached this milestone), very sad (same reason!), and a little disappointed that they're not the brand I wanted to get for those special first shoes! I know how materialistic that sounds but I used to manage a store next door to a Clarks shoe store and I promised myself that I would buy this sturdy and trusted brand for my future childrens' first shoes. So why didn't I buy him a pair of Clarks shoes? Well it wasn't for lack of trying, let me tell you! My mother and I went to every store we could think of that would stock children's shoes and, after having him measured and fitted five or six times (many screams involved...no wonder I had a headache come 5pm!), it was confirmed...my son has wide feet like his Dad! I have it under good authority that Clarks do make extra-wide versions of their shoes so I will look into that for sure. My poor boy though may be bound to a life of difficult shoe shopping where the most beautiful shoes will never fit.

Today I also took a couple of photos of Jasper in the car before we left for Mother's Group. He was in such a great mood and I was feeling nostalgic. It always amazes me that he can look like such a baby in one shot yet such a big boy in another! I'm forever being told that he will "age" overnight when I have his little brother...please don't let them be right!

Introduction, if I may...

2008-02-05T20:35:00.000+11:00

Well I do have a good heart, don't get me wrong, but the blog name is a definite play on words! Having married into a name that nobody can spell (but which reads like a common adjective + noun) has been no picnic. To be honest with you, after almost three years, I am sometimes still a bit embarrassed when asked for my full name on the phone (it's often easiest to just spell it) or when I'm called at a doctor's sugery for instance (although this is usually ok as my regular GP doesn't even say it correctly!). In any case, this name is for keeps so I will do my best to fall in love with it and live up to the pressure that is having, and being, a 'good heart'.