Two promises broken...

Today my mother, Jasper, and I travelled to our nearest city as used to be customary for a Wednesday. We'd decided a couple of months ago to not go every week, only when we really needed to, as we seem to just spend spend spend! Today I needed to go and do my Glucose Tolerance Test (to determine if I likely have gestational diabetes); this involved drinking a very sugary lemonade-like drink, sitting for one hour, and then having some blood taken. I will get my results next Wednesday at my antenatal appointment (yes, another Wednesday trip required...what a shame! ha ha).

I had some great retail therapy today...I got Jasper a new maxi-rider carseat (so the baby can use his), a toddler seat attachment for our pram, a belly casting kit (to be done around the same time as my Jasper-belly cast), and about 12 items of clothing for the baby and Jasper. We found some fantastic bargains so it was a very successful shopping day. Two of the clothing items I chose were Pumpkin Patch shorts in a size 2 and identical shorts in a size 3-6months. I am looking forward to dressing Jasper and his baby brother in these shorts and taking some gorgeous pictures! It's too funny because I promised myself a long time ago I would never do this to my children but I just couldn't resist! ha ha

The moment that stands out for me today wasn't shopping related though (however did have a 'shopping-related' effect!). We were at the park having a picnic lunch while Jasper was running around and my mother was chasing after him (bless her for saving my poor back the effort!). I don't remember what exactly was said but it had something to do with her acknowledging that Jasper is such a "determined" little man which, whether she meant it to or not, made me feel like a load was taken off my shoulders! All this time I have thought that I mustn't be doing something right as a mum, discipline-wise, (as he can be quite disregarding at times) but she told me that I'm definitely not too soft on him and, as I know I'm not too hard, I felt vindicated! My mother has always been strong on discipline (most would say too strong but, if nothing else, she gets results!). This park conversation came about because she was trying to keep Jasper from falling down a gutter onto a dirt path and he just wouldn't leave the area alone despite her harsh tones. Physically removing him from the situation and trying to distract him wasn't working either as he'd make his way straight back there. It was a frustrating experience (no more frustrating than I deal with on a daily basis though so I was quietly enjoying being able to watch his antics from a distance for a change!) so I decided to order him one of those 'child-harnesses' when we went to the baby store! This was the second promise I'd broken today because I had also told myself I would never ever use a harness on my child and treat them like a dog! Now I'm a parent I'm much more concerned with safety than 'what it looks like', not to mention the fact that I don't need sky-rocketing stress levels everytime we leave the house, just anticipating my "determined" son's wish for being somewhere away from where we need to be. Here is a link to the harness I ordered:
http://www.goldbug.com.au/collection.php?s=11
It's the monkey one second down in the first column. Apparently they are great for the child as, unlike usual harnesses, the child sees this one as 'their backpack' and not something you're attaching to them. Also great for us in that Jasper can carry a small drink and a snack himself, freeing up the nappy bag for more newborn-type things (I have been wondering if my current nappy bag will be big enough for both boys). Remmy has called Jasper a 'monkey' for so long now so it's cute that he will have a monkey of his own. I'll post up a picture of him in this harness when we get it, it's sure to make me p*ss myself laughing!

The only other thing I bought today was some wool to make a friend a rug for her baby shower next month...I had better crochet quickly!

What a long post from me! I haven't taken any noteworthy photos over the last few days...maybe tomorrow. Do you know what I've realised since waffling on with all of these random thoughts? I've realised how strange, yet fantastic, it is to have broken two promises to myself in the one day and to not be disappointed about either of them! I am proud of myself for being open to change and not stubborn just for the sake of it!

Stampin' Up! Joy

When I look at my slideshow thingie of scrapbooking I cringe. I shouldn't cringe though because what you see is all I've ever done...my complete journey from absolute beginner up to now. I know I haven't done many layouts (LOs), that's why I shouldn't cringe. I do accept that I am still learning and have much to learn. Already my style is evolving so fast it's difficult to pin-point how and why!

One possible reason for at least some of the evolution is my current facination (or obsession if you will) with Stampin' Up! (SU). I joined as a demonstrator back in September 2007 and, while I haven't done much with my little business yet, I have ordered over $2K worth of products for myself and am having a ball learning how to use everything. Of course there are never enough hours in the day (and my scrapping space may never be tidy enough to be 100% productive 100% of the time) but I really enjoy my hobby.

Those familiar with SU may notice that only a few of the LOs in my slideshow use these products (but that they use them almost exclusively). I'll try and minimise my use of non-SU products from now on so that customers (and potential customers) can see more clearly how versatile SU products are.

I have been driving myself a little crazy since saving this slideshow because I can't for the life of me work out how to get it from inside a post to under my profile picture (under the heading My Scrapbooking)! I will try and get some assistance on this matter but I suppose I know where it is when I want it in the meantime.

I placed a SU order for a friend today. This was her first order and I'm so excited for her to be discovering the products (and the craft)! She is more interested in card making than scrapbooking but they are both as satisfying as each other so I'm sure she will have loads of fun when she gets her box of 'goodies'! Another friend contacted me today and wishes to place her second order with me before the end of February. Might be a good excuse to get a few more things myself at the same time! It's such a yummy yet addictive company and hobby all in one...don't know what I would do without it!

Check out my Slide Show!

Scrapbooking and card making...

I'll be looking at getting some photos taken of some of my work over the next few days so hopefully will be on show here very soon.

(Don't know why I bothered with this little post...I still haven't told anyone about this blog so it's not like anyone will be hanging out for my pictures! ha ha)

Third Trimester!

I made it to the magical third trimester yesterday! I have found that I'm eating more at dinner, I am more tired, I am more anxious, and I am also much crankier than I was even two weeks ago. On the upside, tomorrow is Saturday so I have a break in my routine with Remmy home too...maybe I will snap out of my moods before next week!

I took these beautiful photos while cooking dinner last night, I am the luckiest lady to have such a loving Daddy for my son!

A better day

Today Jasper and I stayed indoors. Lately I have been working so hard at having somewhere to be most afternoons so, for a change, we played and yes, I tidied up in the study. I'm not quite finished my organising but I did well and am proud for doing what I did. I am also proud of letting go with Jasper and really enjoying just being crazy with him...singing, dancing, tickling him. It was a tiring yet fun day.

I couldn't resist getting some photos when he dragged this tray out of his little drawing desk and tried so hard to fit inside. He paused to watch some tv while standing in the tray at one point and I really love the expressions on his face. He finally got to fit inside just one second before toppling straight back and bumping his head. Of course I caught it all on camera.

This next photo caught my attention as I felt I had seen it before.

After a little rummaging around in old folders I found an old photo of Remmy as a baby...such similar lips, cheeks, chin and jaw, even ears!

Well I am off to spend half an hour on the cross-trainer (I was serious last night, as much as my post may have sounded a little like well-meant New Years Resolutions!)! Today is a better day.

Motivation please!

How fantastic is it when life is rolling along just how you like it? I don't know about the majority of people but I find that there's usually at least one area of my life that I feel could use a 'pick-me-up'. At the moment it's a few different areas of my life...I feel like I have 'dropped the ball', if you will, and I need buckets of motivation to do the smallest things.

Ok, I will be brave and more specific. In order, the three areas in need of the most attention for me right now are:

1) my body - I promised myself a few months ago that, if I did nothing else this pregnancy, I would walk on our cross-trainer as often as possible (at least 3 times a week but preferably 5 times). I'm not thinking about my appearance only here (although that is definitely an issue for me at the moment), I'm thinking about preparing my body for a potential VBAC delivery. Well, I know I will likely need another c-section but if there's even a chance of a VBAC I need to be in top shape for my peace of mind. I went really well for a couple of months and I was really keeping the weight down. Over the last few weeks I have been on the cross-trainer maybe twice! This is crazy because I really enjoy my time on there listening to old songs and thinking about this baby and life in general. I'm not sure why my motivation has taken a dive but I will be doing my best to get it back!

2) my house - I am such a 'house proud' person who can't seem to concentrate in a mess! My house is a mess for my standards (and a bit unclean too if truth be told!). It is very difficult to maintain my house when I am this far along with my pregnancy...I've been advised not to pick up the vacuum cleaner or do anything over-exerting due to the massive tendancy I have towards getting Symphasis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD, a painful condition in pregnancy where the pelvis is more unstable than usual due to the hormone relaxin and damaging or repetitive movements). I ended up on crutches when pregnant with Jasper because of this condition and I'm getting early symptoms again. Hmmmm, actually maybe my issue isn't the cleaning of the house at all, it's probably more to do with how unorganised I am in the house at the moment! What I mean is that I have 101 things I need to schedule into my diary to do...things that, until I schedule them, are just sitting around the house reminding me of my laziness! This is what I mean...(look in the background of this photo I took this afternoon and you will see the part of our desk in the study with many papers to deal with and other random things that just need putting away. You can also see a sewing machine out and ready as there's at least 4 bags of material lying around waiting to be masterpieces!)...

3) my business - my business is a bit of a joke at the moment actually! I became a Stampin' Up! demonstrator at least 5 months ago and, while I absolutely love making things using my products, I am currently too nervous to set up a demonstration/party! After talking with Lisa (the lovely lady who recruited me) I am convinced that the cause for my nerves is that while I am pregnant I tend to 'over think' about things and, coupled with the infamous 'pregnancy brain' (where it's really difficult to construct any sentence you may wish to articulate and you wind up sounding very silly!), I am uncharacteristically shy and withdrawn! When I signed up as a demonstrator I remember telling Lisa how my favourite part would be giving the demonstrations because I get a 'buzz' when talking about products I believe in (I know this from my experience as a store manager in Perth)...so imagine the buzz when talking about products I believe in to do the craft that I'm passionate about, scrapbooking!

Ok, so maybe I need to get organised in my house, before I can work on my body, before I get confident enough to work on my business...or is that just a cop-out? I haven't told a single soul about my Blog yet so the question is very much rhetorical (as much as I would love to just be given all the answers!)...

Lazy Sundays?

My boys have gone out to watch the go-karts in a neighbouring city today. While I have a list as long as my arm of things to do today I always miss them when they go on little outings like this. It's really nice to miss them though and get lots done at home. If we decide that this little baby is our last I should probably get used to days like today, as the only lady in the family. Sometimes it's refreshing to find that you're happy doing the roles of your gender. That's not a very politically correct thing to write, I realise, but the beauty of this day and age is that, as women, we can choose to busy ourselves with looking after our houses and families or we can just enjoy our lazy Sunday's. I just hope they take some good photos for me.

Valentine's Day 2008

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Remmy and I decided that we wouldn't buy gifts this year because we're trying to gear ourselves up to next month when we'll have our first mortgage. He told me on Monday that there was to be a meeting after work on Thursday so he'd be a little late home. I reminded him that it was Valentine's Day on Thursday but that his meeting wouldn't be a problem as long as he thought of something romantic we could do which wouldn't cost any money. On Wednesday he informed me, with a smile, that we could watch a romantic movie together. His smile gave away that he thought it was an easy 'way out' for him but I thought this was perfect so I ignored the smile. We had borrowed The Notebook to watch a couple of months ago but Remmy never felt like watching it. It's such a lovely movie, possibly the most romantic one I have seen! It was great to relax with Remmy too as we're usually both doing our own thing and rarely take the time to just stop.

Yesterday also marked the 26th week of my pregnancy. He has been so active this last week but, as I understand, babies are supposed to be at their most active between weeks 24 and 29, so we're right on schedule. I was being silly in this first photo and was amazed to see my belly both in the mirror and at the bottom of the photo. If I don't laugh at how gigantic I feel (and look!) I will likely cry, so laugh with me, please!

Out of control

I've just spent the better part of an hour detailing all the moments in my day that frustrated me and/or made me feel hopeless and helpless. As I would love to be a more positive person I will just say that I needed far too much help today for my liking and, considering that I nearly fainted while out shopping, I'm going to start looking after myself a little better from now on. How can I do this? Well physically I can eat well and drink enough water, and do my fitness more regularly, and emotionally I can set small goals for myself and improve my self-confidence. It sounds so easy!

My boys

It's the strangest feeling when I'm cuddling Jasper and my tummy starts changing shape. I can actually feel my heart growing bigger to accommodate this new little boy into my/our world.

I don't spend much time thinking about how Jasper will cope when this little one makes an appearance in May but it's difficult not to wonder for just a tiny second. I'm sure he will be fine with my time being divided (and I hope he will cope fine with Remmy's time being divided)...will he be gentle enough though? I guess it's our job to teach him to be gentle. Maybe I should give him one of my childhood dolls to play with now so he gets a head start. Watch this space!

As for my other 'boy'...how will he cope when this new bub arrives? Do you know what? I think we will have a better relationship after this bub than what we did after Jasper was born simply because many of our struggles were over both of us wanting to do everything! At least neither of us will be physically able to do everything when we have two little munchkins! He is a great Dad and deserves so much credit for the time he puts into his role.

I feel so lucky to be the 'lady of [a] house' of three boys...my boys.

One of those days...

I think I have a pretty unique situation. My husband is a rare breed and absolutely adores spending time with Jasper. He tackles him, chases him, and throws him around even...the laughter is almost constant around here on the weekends. So much so that come Monday, when Remmy is back at work, Jasper suffers 'daddy-withdrawals' and we tend to both be pretty miserable.

Today, being one of those days, I decided to take Jasper to the park to cheer him up. We had heaps of fun for about an hour and then another little boy arrived with his grandma. For some reason this other boy's constant yelling out for my attention to watch him slide down the slippery dip, his interferance with whatever Jasper happened to be doing, and his calling me 'big girl' really got on my nerves and we ended up leaving. Perhaps it was just my pregnancy hormones.

When we got home I let Jasper walk down the hall following me (doctor's orders not to pick him up when it's not necessary) and he tripped over his new shoes. He's tripped so many times in the last couple of months that, while he cried more than usual, I stood him up and got him following me again. It wasn't until I'd reached the kitchen that I looked back and noticed blood on his shirt and chin! I picked him up and tried to see where he was bleeding but I couldn't see the source...he must have bitten his lip somewhere when he tripped but it wasn't serious...he stopped crying almost immediately and so did the bleeding. I made him a milkshake and nearly cried because I felt so inadequate as a mum. I know I couldn't have protected him from that little stumble. It was more that he stumbled after me cutting short his fun at the park because I couldn't handle a little boy, after him almost swallowing rocks, leaves, and even an old watermelon seed at the park because I couldn't scoop them out of his mouth properly, after him screaming at the back door for his Daddy all morning, and after a weekend of feeling a little 'uninvolved'. Yes, it sure was one of those days...

Growing up

Yesterday I bought my son Jasper his first pair of shoes. Well, he's been wearing shoes for quite some time now but these shoes are different...these are his first shoes since being able to walk...these are his first necessary shoes.

Today I took a picture of these shoes in the hope that I will forever remember how I felt. I am a mixture of very proud of him (that he's reached this milestone), very sad (same reason!), and a little disappointed that they're not the brand I wanted to get for those special first shoes! I know how materialistic that sounds but I used to manage a store next door to a Clarks shoe store and I promised myself that I would buy this sturdy and trusted brand for my future childrens' first shoes. So why didn't I buy him a pair of Clarks shoes? Well it wasn't for lack of trying, let me tell you! My mother and I went to every store we could think of that would stock children's shoes and, after having him measured and fitted five or six times (many screams involved...no wonder I had a headache come 5pm!), it was confirmed...my son has wide feet like his Dad! I have it under good authority that Clarks do make extra-wide versions of their shoes so I will look into that for sure. My poor boy though may be bound to a life of difficult shoe shopping where the most beautiful shoes will never fit.

Today I also took a couple of photos of Jasper in the car before we left for Mother's Group. He was in such a great mood and I was feeling nostalgic. It always amazes me that he can look like such a baby in one shot yet such a big boy in another! I'm forever being told that he will "age" overnight when I have his little brother...please don't let them be right!

Introduction, if I may...

Well I do have a good heart, don't get me wrong, but the blog name is a definite play on words! Having married into a name that nobody can spell (but which reads like a common adjective + noun) has been no picnic. To be honest with you, after almost three years, I am sometimes still a bit embarrassed when asked for my full name on the phone (it's often easiest to just spell it) or when I'm called at a doctor's sugery for instance (although this is usually ok as my regular GP doesn't even say it correctly!). In any case, this name is for keeps so I will do my best to fall in love with it and live up to the pressure that is having, and being, a 'good heart'.